(via mi compadre Harold Cook)
Remember when Dick Cheney declared he had no issues with gay rights - but only because his own daughter is a lesbian? Remember when Sarah Palin angrily declared that using the word “retard” is wrong, but only because her own child has Down’s Syndrome - even as she constantly and bitterly complained about all other “politically correct” language? Now comes Republican Senator Rob Portman, who as a result of his son coming out, has reversed course and is now in favor of same-sex marriage. Why do so many conservatives only choose to do the right thing when it’s their own immediate family on the line? Wouldn’t it be nice if our elected officials’ empathy extended to the people they claim to represent, instead of only coming to the more enlightened conclusion because of discrimination experienced by their immediate family?
I should begin by stating that I believe it to be a good thing when a politician from either side of the ideological Great Divide comes out in favor of marriage equality. What disturbs me is the self-interest being served. Too many Conservative conversions seem to come only after a loved one identifies as part of the LGBT community. Republicans are renowned for their furious, repressive opposition to marriage equality…or ANY manner of equality for homosexuals. Then they discover that a son or daughter is gay, and the next thing you know the compassion and tolerance are simply gushing from them. Tolerance should be the order of the day…’cuz EVERYBODY deserves to love whom they choose, don’tchaknow?? It shouldn’t be timed for maximum political impact.
It’s always good when people come out in favor of equality. When that conversion comes only after a loved one identifies as gay or lesbian and the issue lands on their doorstep, that hardly makes one a hero. It’s what my friend Harold Cook refers to as “self-interested enlightenment.“…and it’s why Rob Portman is by now means ANY sort of hero.
Portman, like most prominent Republicans, was intractably opposed to marriage equality and anything that smacked of equal rights for the LGBT community. Then his son came out, and Portman was faced with a choice: his son or his political career. That Portman chose his son is laudable, but it’s what any parent should be expected to do. That’s not heroism, that’s doing the right thing by your child. It’s what should happen, and there’s no heroism to be found in that.
Here’s the other part of the story that’s been conveniently pushed to the side: Portman’s son came out to him TWO YEARS AGO. So, prior to the Presidential election and the period when he was being vetted as a possible VP candidate on the GOP ticket, Portman failed to speak out. Conveniently, and one could argue cynically, Portman waited until after the November election to announce his change of heart.
What’s so courageous about that?
“Why do so many conservatives only choose to do the right thing when it’s their own immediate family on the line?” That’s a very good question, one that speaks to the hypocrisy rampant in today’s GOP. It’s easy to adamantly oppose something when it’s an abstract concept and has no direct impact on you. Then it turns out a loved one is part of the minority class you so revile…and you experience a battlefield conversion. Call me cynical, but that seems a bit too self-interested to be taken seriously, doesn’t it? Would Portman’s (or Dick Cheney’s) position have changed if his child hadn’t come out and identified as gay? Or would he continue to toe the party line and oppose anything that might grant even the barest shred of equality to the community?
Welcome, Senator Portman, to the side that wants everybody to have the opportunities you want your own son to have. It would be nice if you could convince some of your colleagues to join us as well, if only for the seemingly-trivial purpose of granting the the same rights and opportunities to people they don’t know. You know - their constituents. The ones who hired them. The ones who need them. The ones whose fathers don’t happen to be members of the United State Senate.
Now, if only a Republican member of Congress’ offspring would come out poor. Or come out sick without health insurance. Or come out under-educated. Or come out the victim of violent crime. Or come out laid off. Or come out elderly. Or come out foreclosed on. Maybe Congress would really accomplish some stuff then. Meanwhile, if the only rights political leaders are willing to protect are the rights of their own immediate family members, they should go home where they belong.
Rob Portman is no hero. He should be congratulated for (finally) doing the right thing, but his conversion should rightly be viewed with suspicion. Portman endorsed marriage equality because his son is gay. Would he have done the same if the issue hadn’t settled on his doorstep? Do I really need to answer that? Therein lies the problem…and the hypocrisy.
There’s no heroism in changing your position because it now directly impacts a loved one. That’s not heroism; that’s cynical self-interest. True heroism means doing something that you know to be the right thing but that you recognize and understand will be poorly received by your contemporaries. It means spitting into the wind and willingly suffering the blowback. It means doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, not something to be done after sticking your finger in the air to test the political winds.
Lest anyone think I’m making this a partisan issue (which it generally is), I’m also not impressed with Hillary Clinton’s video endorsing marriage equality. While it’s nice to have her on the human rights train, she opposed same-sex marriage (but supported civil unions) throughout most of her political career. Now that it’s safe- a majority of Americans support marriage equality (81% of adults under 30)- she’s chosen to publicly endorse what should be a basic human right available to all. That’s courage? Hardly. Courage would have been coming out in favor of marriage quality when she was First Lady, or even when she was running for a Senate seat from New York.
It’s time we stopped treating politicians who change their position on marriage equality only after a loved one comes out to them as gay or lesbian. I’ve heard it said that there’s no wrong way to do the right thing, but doing the right thing because of enlightened self-interest is not a heroic gesture.
Get back to me when a Conservative comes our for marriage equality because he or she recognizes it as the right thing to do- NOT because they learned one of their children is gay. Then we can talk about heroism and courage.
