I’m a 34-year-old NBA center. I’m black. And I’m gay. I didn’t set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I’m happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn’t the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, “I’m different.” If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I’m raising my hand…. It takes an enormous amount of energy to guard such a big secret. I’ve endured years of misery and gone to enormous lengths to live a lie. I was certain that my world would fall apart if anyone knew. And yet when I acknowledged my sexuality I felt whole for the first time. I still had the same sense of humor, I still had the same mannerisms and my friends still had my back.
I look forward to the day when someone announces that they’re gay and the general public reaction is “And….???” Not to minimize the undoubtedly difficult and challenging decision Jason Collins made to come out, but his sexuality changes nothing. He’s still a human being. He’s still a gifted athlete. He still put his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. Why we as a society should be so concerned with who Jason Collins loves and how he chooses to live is beyond me. It’s just not that big of a deal.
Except that it is, because the haters and the media have made it so. Because of that, good people like Collins are forced to wrestle with the decision of whether to be true to themselves and risk widespread ridicule and opprobrium, or to hide who they are in order to be accepted as “normal.” There’s no reason it should be this way. There will always be haters who will ridicule the LGBT community for their “sinfulness” and “abomination in the eyes of the Lord.” That’s their problem, but too many of us have accepted and internalized the conviction that gays and lesbians are somehow “less than” and therefore unworthy of the rights and benefits that heterosexuals take for granted.
The good news is that public opinion is changing, as is the public perception of gays and lesbians. More and more Americans are now willing to recognize that Jason Collins and people like him are just that- people who want to be free to be themselves. The haters are on the wrong side of history (and part of their desperation is that they know it), and before too much longer being gay will no longer create a media feeding frenzy. It’s going to take more people like Jason Collins to stand up and tell the world that it’s time to be true to who they are. And it’s going to take more of those Americans who believe in “live and let live” to stand up and show respect for those who happen to live and love differently.
I applaud Collins for bravely standing up for his right to be true to himself. I can only hope that the limb he’s walked out on won’t be sawed off behind him. He and other gay Americans deserve equality. I hope that in my lifetime we’ll reach the point where that equality will be taken for granted. THAT will represent some true and lasting progress.
