April 27, 2013 6:36 AM

Next, on "News That Will Come As A Shock To No One"....

The human male possesses the Italian designer faucet of penises. They’re pretty big, the biggest of any primate’s relative to body size. And they’re showy, too, right out there, front and center on our upright bodies (i.e., they don’t retract), as if they were meant to be seen as part of the décor. Why? A study released today in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) offers an explanation: Women are attracted to penises, and the bigger the better…. “Penis size does affect attractiveness,” lead author Brian Mautz, a University of Ottawa post-doctoral researcher said in an NBCNews.com interview.

In the pantheon of “Things I Need Science To Tell Me Before I’ll Believe It,” I’d have to say that the news that size does matter would be difficult to find. Hey, no one makes porn using male actors whose Johnson could be mistaken for a pencil stub with an eraser on the end, knowhutimean?

Thankfully, I’ve got better things to obsess over, so this isn’t something I’ve devoted a lot of brain cells to…but someone needed a scientific study to confirm what they could learn by hanging out in a bar?

Tune in to “Masters of the Obvious” next week, when we’ll learn that women prefer wealthy men over destitute ones, tall man over short ones, and smart ones over dumb ones.

Don’tcha just LOVE science??

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on April 27, 2013 6:36 AM.

Destroying America? Yeah, it's been done- by a guy with a library named after him. was the previous entry in this blog.

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