May 21, 2013 5:54 AM

Today's Right Wing Follies, brought to you by the makers of Thorazine

Those who will not reason, are bigots, those who cannot, are fools, and those who dare not, are slaves.

  • Lord Byron

Sometimes, when it comes to Right-wing lunacy, I find it difficult to sort the wheat from the chaff and come up with the perfect, most ignorantly lunatic RWNJ out there. All too often there’s just too damned much competition. When everyone is worthy of being considered The Worst Person in the World ©…well, I can’t begin to imagine how to choose just one or two.

This past week has been an especially target-rich environment for Far Right, hyper-religious, uber-Jesus-y RWNJs, Rather than try to whittle down the list, I thought I’d let y’all sort it out. This is no run of the mill, garden variety wingnuttery, nosiree. This is the sort of thing that makes you blink and think, “You’re a very special kind of stoopid, aren’t you, son?? Somethin’s not quite right with you….”

Enjoy the rich, creamy goodness. If you’re offended for any reason…well, don’t kill the messenger. I’m just bringing the madness to you. These idjits are solely to blame for their own arrogance, intolerance, ignorance, and whatever other (not so) laudable qualities they bring to the dance. Until they develop a higher degree of self-awareness, I have no problem with using their antics for entertainment. Hey, it’s a comedy gold mine; surely you can’t expect me to pass on this stuff??

Welcome to our new idiocracy….

Virginia GOP Nominates Candidate For Lt. Governor Who Says ‘The Idea That Barack Obama Is a Christian Is Laughable’: It’s takes a very special brand of stupid (and arrogant) to believe that your flavor of Christianity is the One and Only True Faith © and that all other versions of an Imaginary Friend are heresy and of the Devil. Combine that with Obama Derangement Syndrome, and what you have is some truly epic Weapons Grade Stupid ©. I don’t know what it is about Virginia, but the entire slate of GOP candidates for statewide office looks like the comment section from Breitbart.com. I’m not sure there’s a functional brain cell or a sense of decency between them. E.W. Jackson has a brilliant career in self-parody ahead of him.

Tea Party Has New Holy Cause: Converting Known ‘Atheist’ George Soros!: Because if you ain’t got Jesus, you ain’t sh…oops; sorry, that was my inner longshoreman making an unscheduled appearance. That said, there’s something pretty arrogant about a group of intolerant moral midgets thinking THEIR imaginary friend is the one, true, and ONLY imaginary friend, and that those who spurn imaginary friends are somehow deficient and in grave need of assistance and prayer. George Soros is no threat to America, nor is he a threat to their flavor of Christianity. Most of these folks don’t know the first thing about Soros…and yet he’s “evil” and “misguided.” We should all be so “evil” and “misguided.”

Daily Caller Cooks Up Another Stupid Scandal, Commenters Spew Vile Racism: “Umbrellagate??” THAT’S the best the racists at The Daily Caller could manage? President Obama asks a Marine to hold an umbrella over him during a photo op in the rainy Rose Garden…and the RWNJs are screaming “SCANDAL!!” over how he allegedly somehow breached Marine Corps protocol. Never mind that nothing could be further from the truth; those that seethe with hatred every time they see The Black Guy in the White House © are almost orgasmic in their outrage over something that’s beyond pointless and stupid. Nonetheless, this meaningless and unimportant story made the front page of the Washington Post and the New York Times. Who says we’re not a country of ninnies?

8 Reasons Allen West Is The Perfect Fox News Contributor: Though it’s not listed as one of the reasons (it really should be), Allen West is the personification of everything that’s wrong with today’s GOP. Ignorant, completely self-absorbed, reactionary, and willing to pander to the lowest common denominator, West has little interest in the truth or what’s best for America. If you think about it, that really DOES make him the perfect Fox Noise Channel contributor. Sometimes wise, prescient, and measured analysis is WAY overrated…and distressingly boring, eh?

Bryan Fischer: Teh Gheys Can’t Be Scouts Because Scout Oath Says No Weaklings: If it’s ignorant, hateful, insulting, and bigoted beyond rational understanding, you’re probably dealing with the latest verbal vomit to emerge from the meat sack that is Bryan Fischer. If it’s true that those who scream about homosexuality being evil the most are usually deep in the closet themselves, then Fischer should be wearing a Carmen Miranda ensemble and leading Colorado Springs’ Gay Pride Parade. Methinks the poor fool really doth protesteth WAY too much to be taken seriously…and that he’s got a deep, dark secret.

Glenn Beck: AP and IRS Scandals Are Just Cover-Ups for the Benghazi Cover-Up: I’m not certain that anyone has ever made more money off being brain-dead, immune to the facts, and…well, just plain wrong. Beck’s been operating in a fact-free environment for so long, it seems he no longer even acknowledge the importance of or need for factual information. Why would he, when fear mongering and pandering to the lowest common denominator is so lucrative?

Bradlee Dean: Gay Marriage Results In Plague Of Rocks, Rabies: If Bradlee Dean is a Christian, I’m the Queen of England. He’s a bigot, a hypocrite, a homophobe, and a fool…but he’s no Christian. He couldn’t lead a Christ-like life if he was handed a map, a flashlight, and an instruction manual. His God is a spiteful, angry, mean-spirited S.O.B., which only demonstrates how little he understands about the teachings of the Christ he claims to revere.

Republican Says The Stupidest Thing Ever About Benghazi ‘Controversy’: I’d be careful about setting the bar so high. There have been a plethora of RWNJs making some truly epic, world-class stupid statements about Benghazi. It seems that Republicans really are JUST. THAT. DESPERATE. to find a scandal- any scandal…even if they have to create one out of whole cloth. The Stoopid, it surely runs deep….

And y’all wonder why I fear for the future of this country? These are the maroons who believe with all their heart that they should be running things, that THEY should be the one setting the course for our republic. Good lot, y’all; if any of these intellectual and moral midgets ever find themselves in a position where they can actually wield political power…well, God (or someone) help us all.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on May 21, 2013 5:54 AM.

Dick Cheney: The man who made "V.P." stand for "Vice Psycopath" was the previous entry in this blog.

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