July 11, 2013 6:22 AM

Texas: Where freedom reigns everywhere...except in a woman's uterus

“My wife worked at a home for unwed moms, and one of the little kids that was born, his name is David. David came about as a result of his mom and dad, who were just 16 at the time, going to a Planned Parenthood deal where they taught them how to use contraceptives. They were not sexually active at that point. They got into the car, and they were so hot and bothered from this deal, he couldn’t even get the condom on.”

I suppose we really shouldbe thankful for good, God-fearing, patriotic Christian White Males like Texas state Rep. Steve Toth (R-The Woodlands), who’s willing to shoulder the heavy burden of protecting Texas men from the evil of women’s lady parts. After all, any right-thinking Christians recognizes the reality that women use their sexuality to manipulate and trap men into having children and forcing them to marry. Once you understand that basic and undeniable truth, it stands to reason that someone needs to protect men from the evil machinations of women and their scheming uteri.

Hey, it’s tough enough being a man these days without worrying about succumbing to the unholy carnal temptations of a succubus. How’s a man supposed to resist? He is, after all, only a man…and men have certain, um, needs, knowhutimean? No matter how good, righteous and mortal a man is, thinking with the wrong head is something that could befall anyone. All Rep. Toth and his fellow Texas God Squadders Republicans are trying to do is to remove the burden of making decisions about their sexuality from women…and thus protecting the moral fiber of Texas men. Beware the awesome and powerful threat to the moral fiber of men that is the vagina.

What’s the point of small government if it’s too big to fit into a uterus? SOMEBODY has to regulate the reproductive functions of baby factories sperm receptacles women, right? Brave Guardians of the Faith © like Toth are willing to courageously step up and assume that responsibility in order that the men of Texas might pursue more Godly and masculine pursuits.

Yay, freedom!!

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on July 11, 2013 6:22 AM.

Floriduh: And you wonder why it's a breeding ground for ignorance, intolerance, and bigotry? was the previous entry in this blog.

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