October 10, 2013 5:53 AM

Pat Robertson: God's dietician

Gay-hating, women-hating, child-hating, and education-hating monster Pat Robertson wants you to know that your gluten-hating lifestyle will send you straight to hell.

Speaking on the 700 Club Monday, non-registered dietician and registered shitbag Robertson shared his holy wisdom on cutting carbs. Take notes:

“What happens is you build up the clinkers. You get swollen joints, you get gout.”

“You get all kinds of problems, where you ache like crazy.”

“Everybody thought Atkins was wonderful and they’ve got all these scientific tests, but… The carbs are the fire that burn everything completely.”

“Sooner or later, it violates the principles that God set down.”

And even if you to decide to honor God’s principles and add bread to your sandwich, don’t even think about making it with Halal meat:

“Our research shows and our team has discovered that a portion of all profits from these Halal butcheries is going to the Muslim Brotherhood, so it’s not a question of religion, it’s a question of where does the money go. So if you buy halal food you’re sending money to the Brotherhood, and the Brotherhood in turn supports Hamas and, you know, Islamic jihadism - well, not that, but Hamas, particularly, and other radical organizations - that’s the danger.”

So there you have it. No meat, no Muslims, no clinkers, no problems.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on October 10, 2013 5:53 AM.

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