October 11, 2013 6:01 AM

Today's nominee for Headline of the Year: Glenn Beck fears for our toilet paper supply

DALLAS SCHOOLS ANNOUNCE PROGRAM THAT BECK SAYS WILL MOVE US CLOSER TO A ‘COMMUNIST UTOPIA’ WITH ‘TOILET PAPER LINES’

Glenn Beck told his radio audience on Friday that a new program implemented in Dallas schools could lead to society standing in line for toilet paper. What program was he discussing? Earlier this week, it was announced that all of the Dallas school district’s 159,000 students will now get free breakfast and lunch, following the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s announcement that it will no longer only make the meals available based on financial need. Apparently district officials believe the overhaul will actually save money by eliminating 40 positions — costing $300,000 — dedicated to filling out paperwork for students who qualified, public information, and more. This way, it will simply be available to everyone…. “For free, it’s going to save a lot of money. Okay. Right,” Beck said in disbelief. “A. I think this is Cloward and Piven, collapse the system. But more importantly, this is, again, indoctrination. This is, teach kids from the very beginning that Mom and Dad do not provide breakfast or lunch…The state provides that. By the time you get out of school, you’ll be like, ‘Why am I paying for breakfast? I’ve never paid for breakfast a day in my life! Why am I paying for it?’”

Yep, if there’s one thing that will GUARAN-DAMN-TEE that America will be circling the drain in our lifetimes, it’s compassion. If God had meant for us to help the needy, he wouldn’t have given us Ayn Rand, amiright?? Whatever happened to competition, survival of the fittest, winner take all, self-reliance, and to each according to his ability? Surely Dallas schools are about to send children down a path that will ultimately see them living under a bridge with all of their worldly belongings in a shopping cart. And thank God for brave, insightful, and courageous patriots like Glenn Beck, whose wisdom and foresight protects us from the privations of an Evil government led by an illegitimate, America-hating, Kenyan-born, Islam-loving President who wants to force socialism and radical Islamofacism on America.

Evidently, at least to Beck’s way of thinking, government is by definition incapable of seeking efficiencies, and it never does ANYTHING with the nonpartisan, anti-ideological goal of saving taxpayers some money. No, there’s ALWAYS an ulterior motive; you’re just not looking hard enough to see it. As Beck will undoubtedly “prove,” it’s most assuredly there. And the Rabid Right’s version of Chicken Little is here to tell us that the Liberal elites in Washington are looking to enslave future generations of blindly obedient godless soldiers willing to die for God and country.

And- GASP!!- they’re starting with breakfast. What sort of monsters would commit such a heinous, unthinkable offense the morality and decency of Joe and Ethel Sixpack? How DARE they? Today it may be free food, and what comes after that? Free clothes? Free cars? Free Conservative radio shows? Oh, the humanity….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on October 11, 2013 6:01 AM.

Congratulations, America; we have exactly the quality of leadership we deserve was the previous entry in this blog.

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