MY NEW HERO
Cherrie Buckley
THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD
(apologies to Keith Olbermann)
Jerry Kalal
As we all know, Jesus doesn’t want big government feeding people, because some of the hungry might be bad people…. And as anyone knows, we don’t need no stinkin’ government, because private individuals are always best at addressing local problems, with their can-do spirit and such. Like in Lafayette, Indiana, where Cherrie Buckley, owner of the Buttery Shelf Eatery, served free meals to all comers every Thursday, helping out the less fortunate and easing the burden on local food banks as well. And she didn’t ask for any praise or recognition, just wanted to do her part to help her community with individual initiative and a spirit of giving. And the free market saw this act of kindness and spoke clearly: other nearby businesses told Buckley to get rid of those smelly unsightly poor people, because they were terrible for business. And so Buttery Shelf announced in September that it was ending the free Thursday lunches, because while fighting hunger is nice, fighting bullies with lawyers is a real drag.
Once upon a time, in a land not so very far away (Indiana, to be precise), a person wants to help those less fortunate. She offers the homeless free meals once a week, simply because she wants to do what feels like the right and decent thing to do…only to find out that’s going to go over like a fart at a Christmas Eve prayer vigil. Surely, those objecting to Ms. Buckley’s generosity of spirit had to understand that their objecting to her simple act of charity would make them look rather…well, let’s just go with curmudgeonly, shall we?? Because when you break it down, who really wants to be exposed to the homeless? They’re dirty, they smell awful, they drink in public, and…well, they’re just not like us, knowhutimean??
You could be forgiven for thinking that the business(es) near the Buttery Shelf Eatery would see an opportunity to assist the less fortunate and…ah, screw it. You know as well as I do what happened next, right?
GENTLEMAN, START YOUR LAWYERS!!
The leader of the fight for a nicer-looking retail landscape is Jerry Kalal, owner of K. Dees Coffee and Roasting Co., who does not care for these unsightly poors. He claims that the free lunches attracted the wrong sort, and that they scared away customers to the tune of $500-$800 a week in lost sales.
“I said, ‘You do this little soup kitchen, but you’re closing down all the other businesses,’ ” Kalal said. “I’m not against helping people, but when it hurts my building and other businesses, I go off” …
“You’d have 50 or 60 people standing outside the Buttery Shelf, spitting, swearing, open alcohol use, clogging the sidewalks,” Kalal said.
Except that Kalal appears to be the only one seeing hordes of evil, out of control, and unwashed criminals. Sure, the homeless often act in ways that might offend more refined sorts like Jerry Kalal. That sort of thing will happen when you can’t afford shelter, food, or basic mental health care. While Kalal would likely be happy to set the homeless outside the Buttery Shelf Eatery adrift on an ice floe with a box of Captain America comic books, Cherrie Buckley decided to display a modicum of kindness and concern for others.
Kalal seems to be the only businessman who resents the poors invading his turf every Thursday. His claim of lost business is debatable at best, but it’s difficult to imagine it’s costing him anywhere near as much as he claims. Of course, Kalal could work with Buckley to determine how to make things safer and more secure for good, God-fearing White Folks with real homes and jobs…but that assumes Kalal doesn’t hate the poors with a fiery passion.
Other nearby businesses doubted that the Thursday patrons were quite as bad as Kalal made out; an antique store owner said that as far as he could tell, Kalal was bullying Buckley. A police captain said that the department had received multiple calls — one from the coffee shop’s business line and three anonymous — including a false claim that
“there were about 20 people behind the Buttery Shelf doing drugs, and an officer was already on scene watching them,” Downard said. “They were just standing there waiting for the place to open.
None of the police visits were even serious enough to generate an actual report. But still, you know, unsightly poor people are mostly criminals and troublemakers, so thank goodness that threat to public order has been shut down.
There’s a side to this story that goes a long ways toward restoring my faith in humanity: Da Interwebs are NOT happy with Kalal. It’s a safe bet that Kalal may be losing business to the tune of $500- $800 a week, thought not quite for the reason he’s claiming. In the end, it turns out that the only thing negatively impacting Jerry Kala’s business is Kalal’s curmudgeonly lack of kindness and humanity.
Don’tcha just LOVE karma??
