It looks as if George W. Bush is not the only greasy sociopath with bloodstained hands to take up painting in an effort to keep the demons at bay. May we present to you the artistic stylings of George Zimmerman, loving husband and partner, brave slayer of Skittles-wielding teenagers, and this decade’s Bernie Goetz for reactionary, terrified white people with aspirations to levels of badassery not seen since the Death Wish movies mercifully petered out. Despite having been so busy threatening his ex-wife, redecorating their old house, allegedly domestic violencing his girlfriend, calling 911 operators to explain that he’s really a great guy once you get to know him, all while suffering the scourge of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder resulting from all the mean people saying mean things about him (you kill one unarmed teenager and they never let you forget about it…!)
One of things a lot of murderous thugs deal with in the aftermath of their special crime is the psychic toll. How to process and resolve the act of senselessly taking a life (or lives)? The thinking psychopath has many options open to him (or her), of course, but one of the most popular avenues for facilitating healing is art. Adolf Hitler painted, as did George W. Bush, and while neither of them will ever be seen as a master of the form, taking up the brush seemed to have a(n) (almost) humanizing effect.
Perhaps this is what George Zimmerman was hoping for when he decided to indulge his creative side in an effort to find inner peace and serenity. Or it could have had something to do with the fact that after his assorted criminal episodes he’s in the neighborhood of $2.5 million in debt.
Those lawyers aren’t going to pay themselves, knowhutimean??
Zimmerman, being the enterprising American he sees himself as, is all about pulling himself up by his boot straps. And what could be more patriotic than that? Especially when your “art” leans heavily on his belief in an America where one can shoot a hoodie-wearing African-American teenage boy because…well, freedom. And because “standing your ground” is as American as voter suppression or rape insurance.
Besides, Zimmerman really is a great guy, if somewhat misunderstood. Just ask his parents.
First hand painted artwork by me, George Zimmerman. Everyone has been asking what I have been doing with myself. I found a creative, way to express myself, my emotions and the symbols that represent my experiences. My art work allows me to reflect, providing a therapeutic outlet and allows me to remain indoors :-) I hope you enjoy owning this piece as much as I enjoyed creating it. Your friend, George Zimmerman
Bidding for Zimmerman’s first artistic piece de resistance starts at a mere $50, though he’s charging $40 for expedited shipping. I suspect that means he’ll ship your artwork via Pony Express and pocket the difference.
Because he’s Just. That. Classy.
If you find yourself in a sparsely furnished bachelor pad and you want something to hang on your wall that will let everyone know that you’re a REAL (i.e., armed and White) American, you can head on over to eBay and search for therealgeorgez. You’d best hurry, though, because when I last checked (like I care), the high bid was $99,966. I know; bidding on this “work of art” seems like the answer to the question, “How do you know you have too damned much money?”
Or, to be a bit more prosaic, “A racist gun nut and his money are soon parted.”
The auction ends early Monday, Dec. 22, at 12:55 a.m. EST…so you still have time to “invest” little Johnny’s college fund in a work of art destined to appreciate…at least in the eyes of xenophobic Caucasian gun nuts.
I suppose the beauty of art lies in the absolution it can offer to those willing to embrace it. No matter what your special heinous crime, art offers a path to inner peace and tranquility that transcends any well-deserved public disdain and opprobrium directed at you. When you create, it doesn’t matter if you killed six million, a hundred thousand-plus, or one teenage boy packing Skittles and iced tea.
You’re an artist.
UPDATE: As if to cement his status as a sorry excuse for a human being and a true, abject failure, it turns out that Zimmerman’s “artwork” was cribbed from a stock image. Don’tcha just LOVE creativity??
