December 2, 2013 6:13 AM

Two words you'll never hear in the same sentence: "Conservative" and "funny"

Fact: Conservatives are not very good at doing funny. Sure, they try. And fail. And if you don’t get the joke, you’re probably just some politically correct overly sensitive something-or-other. Or maybe, just maybe, it is because conservatives are not very good at doing the funny. Exhibit eleventeen trillion for your consideration: Heritage Foundation’s new line of Thanksgiving cards to send to “that really annoying liberal in your life.” Because Thanksgiving is all about being a dick to people, just like the pilgrims were dicks to … okay, never mind, that might actually be sort of correct.

I’ve never really understood why Conservatives on average tend to be severely lacking in the humor department. After all, ideology seems a poor explanation for the collection of joyless, angry drudges that are today’s Conservatives. Perhaps it’s the anger, or their lacks of ideas while simultaneously possessing a world-class ability to kibbutz and ridicule. Or perhaps it’s just smug arrogance combined with a sense of White entitlement. When you have nothing positive to offer, about all you really have in your toolbox is a gift for tearing down and dissembling- not things that easily lend themselves to humor. Being a dick just isn’t funny. Who knew??

A few years ago, Fox News Channel tried to start a Conservative alternative to The Daily Show, which went nowhere in a hurry because…well, because Conservatives and humor seem to go together like tomato sauce and chocolate ice cream. The Heritage Foundation is a perfect example. You’d think their Thanksgiving cards would be something close to genuinely heartfelt wishes for a safe and happy holiday. Of course, EVERYTHING is political in Washington, DC, these days- even Thanksgiving cards. The cheap attempts at humor only serve to illustrate the fact that Conservatives have nothing of substance to offer. What they do have is a willingness to ridicule any idea emanating from the Left.

Sorry, y’all; if you were trying to prove yourself to be smug, arrogant, self-entitled dicks, well…congratulations. You’ve removed any lingering doubt about your willingness to contribute anything positive. If you’ll stoop to politically-motivated Thanksgiving cards, you’ve pretty much demonstrated yourself to be devoid of most anything resembling humanity.

Here’s a news flash: Not everything has to be political.

Memo to Conservatives: Nice going; you’ve proven yourself to be anything but funny. Smug arrogance just doesn’t make for good humor, knowhutimean?? Perhaps you should get back to doing what you do well: ridiculing and tearing down ideas and legitimate efforts to make America a better place.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on December 2, 2013 6:13 AM.

What we're reading these days was the previous entry in this blog.

After several hours of watching Fox News Channel, this might just be what the doctor ordered is the next entry in this blog.

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