It’s the end of the year, which means we’re being inundated with “Best of….” and “Worst of….” list focused on the past 12 months. That’s all well and good; I think there’s value to be found in reflecting on what’s passed…perhaps in the unspoken hope that what’s to come will be an improvement. It’s the old “How will we know where we’re going if we don’t understand where we’ve been?” theory…and there’s some truth in that.
I’ll leave those lists to others more inclined toward that sort of reflection than I am…with one notable exception. Being fascinated as I am by the depth and breadth of humanity stupidity, I enjoy lists that chronicle the truly stupid, brain-dead things mankind is capable of. Things like The Darwin Awards or News of the Weird interest me primarily for the light they shed on the astonishing intellectual vacancy so many bipeds are capable of.
My favorite is Deadspin’s annual list of things we humans have inserted into various bodily orifices. Turns out the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission maintains a searchable database of emergency room visits that chronicles, among other things, information on who inserted what where.
Your tax dollars at work, eh?
Instead of bemoaning the scope and depth of the undeniable intellectual shortcomings of those mental midgets whose exploits are captured in the database, how about we just marvel at the boundless ingenuity of humankind? Because it seems that we’ll put just about anything anywhere, regardless of potential consequences or risk of long-term physical damage.
Wow. Just…wow.
And you wonder why I fear for the future of our Republic….
