As you well know if you’ve hung around these parts for any length of time, I’m fascinated by the breadth and depth of human stupidity. I don’t mean that to be arrogant and/or condescending, though I realize how it could easily be misconstrued that way. I just never cease to be amazed at the things normally lucid, seemingly intelligent people will do given the opportunity. Whether they think they’re auditioning for a Darwin Award or hoping to get a mention on Fark.com, a small portion of humanity is seemingly bent on defying intellectual gravity, sometimes in rather humorous and entertaining ways. Some folks have the ability to put any discernible brainwave activity into neutral while doing in something few with a functioning intellect would undertake.
Then again, sometimes “stupid” can means something as simple as failing to face reality…with predictably amusing results. It doesn’t have to involve knuckle-dragging troglodytes in order to be sufficiently stupid…but it certainly doesn’t hurt.
Mogul Offers $120 Million for Man Who Weds His Lesbian Daughter
A billionaire Hong Kong real estate developer has doubled his “marriage bounty” for the man who successfully seduces and marries his lesbian daughter. The offer now stands at $120 million….
“I only hope for her to have a good marriage and children as well as inherit my business,” Cecil [Chao] said, according to the Star, adding, without any apparent awareness of the irony, that he has no plans to interfere with her personal life.
I’m not certain what part of “lesbian daughter” our intrepid hero is having difficulty grasping, but something tells me he’s going to hanging on to his money for a LONG time. My understanding of the definition of “lesbian” is along the lines of “prefers the company of women over men,” or something closely resembling that. I’m guessing that no amount of money is going to convince the daughter that the male penis can really be a whole lot of fun, but $120 million will certainly buy a whole lot of people willing to try to convince her to switch teams.
Mayor Rob Ford promises to quit drinking (again)
TORONTO - Mayor Rob Ford admits he had an “unfortunate” slip this week by drinking after pledging to give up the booze.
But the civic leader said Wednesday he feels no need to apologize for his “personal, private setback.”
While the news about him falling off the wagon generated international headlines, his decision to climb back on is unlikely to cause the same stir.
But the mayor insisted he has sworn off alcohol — yet again.
“I am definitely,” he said in an exclusive interview Wednesday night.
“I had an unfortunate setback, a bump, Monday,” Ford acknowledged from his second- floor City Hall office in between returning constituent phone calls. “I have no excuse, but I am not apologizing for it.”
Ah…Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, the 2013 winner of the Live Fast, Die Young, Leave a Good-looking Corpse Award, is back at it. Evidently, Ford is fully involved in embarrassing everyone but himself. Never mind that the public face of one of the world’s great cities is an alcoholic drug user with no filter or impulse control.
Chris Farley lives!!
I have this feeling that someday in the not-too-distant future he’ll be found naked and dead in his office. We’ll learn that his heart exploded with a BAC of .35, having choked on his own vomit while getting a lap dance from a Latvian hooker as she was filling his crack pipe.
Obama’s Norway Ambassador Nominee Knows Next to Nothing About Norway
George Tsunis is rich. He raised a lot of money for Barack Obama and other Democrats. Barack Obama has nominated George Tsunis to be the U.S. ambassador to Norway. George Tsunis should have wiki’d Norway before testifying to the Senate. Via Yahoo News’ Olivier Knox:
Tsunis became a Democrat in November 2009 — after giving $50,000 to Republican Sen. John McCain’s 2008 campaign.
So it’s perhaps fitting that it was the tart-tongued Arizona senator’s questions that elicited his sloppy confirmation hearing performance last week (it starts at about 1:14 here).
To recap: Tsunis described Norway as having a president (“apparently under the impression that the country is a republic rather than a constitutional monarchy,” as the Local Norway’s News notes dryly). And he characterized the anti-immigration Progress Party as being among “fringe elements” who “spew their hatred” and have been denounced by the government.
That prompted McCain’s disbelieving answer: “The government has denounced them? The coalition government — they’re part of the coalition of the government.”
I understand that ambassadorships are more often than not political rewards for supporting a President financially. Nothing new in that…except that we should be able to expect a nominee to know something about the country he’s nominated to be posted to. Tsunis isn’t off to a flying start, and the first impression he’s created among Norwegians isn’t exactly stellar.
Given that he’s started out on the wrong foot, I’ll offer a little help to Tsunis. Ambassador, when you get to Paris, the Norwegian capital, here’s a phrase that will make everything all better with the locals:
¡Buenos dias!
George Zimmerman’s Latest ‘Painting’ Gets Him In More Legal Trouble
George Zimmerman can’t even make a painting without getting into trouble. His latest problem? An accusation that he illegally copied someone else’s photograph in his latest piece of “art.”
Zimmerman’s latest artistic endeavor is a painting of Florida prosecutor Angela Corey - the woman who brought the murder charges against Zimmerman. In his painting, Corey is shown making a gesture, commonly indicating a small amount, with the added caption, “I have this much respect for the American judicial system.” Zimmerman gave his painting the mocking title, “Angie.”
You may recall that Zimmerman’s last painting sold for more than $100,000 on eBay. But Zimmerman’s scheme to make a new pile of money at Corey’s expense is not quite working out as planned. In fact, it could wind up costing him.
George Zimmerman is one hateful, bitter human being, isn’t he? Zimmerman- who shot and killed an unarmed teenager, was arrested for beating up his girlfriend, accused of punching his father-in-law, and…drum roll, please…molesting a cousin- is the very definition of “loser.” Rather than own up to what he did, he blamed everyone around him, including the prosecutor who had the temerity to press murder charges against him. I know; HOW DARE SHE???
Zimmerman’s turned to art in an effort to pay his sizable legal expenses. His first painting (if that’s even what it can be called) sold for more than $100,000 on eBay. Now he’s attempting to do the same thing, this time by using a copyrighted AP photo for his latest work. If he continues to use the photo, AP has said it will sue…and we all know about Zimmerman’s talent when it comes to the law, right?
Is it just me, or is George Zimmerman just a walking, talking waste of humanity?
Speaking of wastes of humanity….
Dumbest Man on Internet Falls for Long-Debunked Fake, Doubles Down
This stupid, obviously faked “foreign student ID card” for Barack Obama has been debunked for years, but continues to circulate in the Birther dungeons of the far right — and no dungeon is deeper, darker, or dumber than the place where Mr. Jim Hoft hangs his very small hat: Making the Rounds: Barry Soetoro’s Columbia University School ID | the Gateway Pundit.
There can be little doubt that Jim Hoft has cemented his well-deserved status as The Dumbest Man on the Internet. Hoft, who fancies himself something of a Liberal-busting “journalist,” seems to latch onto every long-since-disproven Right-wing talking point/propaganda nugget/conspiracy theory and regurgitate it as Gospel. The man’s clearly long since begun believing his own press clippings as the winner of CPAC’s Accuracy in Media Award. I’m assuming CPAC meant the honor ironically, since Hoft wouldn’t recognize journalistic accuracy if it arrived bearing kneepads and a tube of AstroGlide.
His latest “scoop” is the long-since-discredited-and-debunked Columbia University student ID attributed to one Barry Soetoro (Barack Obama). Never mind that the only people paying attention to his birther-friendly “scandal” are those seriously in need of having their medication adjusted. And please ignore the reality that Hoft doesn’t believe in fact-checking. He found the ID on the Internet, and, as we all know, if it’s on da Interwebs IT MUST BE TRUE, amiright??
That Hoft is considered a “heavyweight” among the Right-wing cognoscenti should provide all you need to know about Conservative intellectual and moral vacancy and dishonesty.
DERP!!!!
