February 23, 2014 6:55 AM

Texas deserves Greg Abbott: The Lowest Common Denominator candidate

AUSTIN (AP) In a rare early morning press conference, the heir apparent to the Texas gubernatorial pulpit, Greg Abbott, announced that he and Ted Nugent would be joined by Duck Dynasty actor Phil Robertson on a six day six million dollar tour of Texas.

The tour, which he has dubbed, “Brother Abbott’s Traveling Salvation Show” will begin this evening at a mega-church in Plano, and make 12 stops across Texas before ending in Waco, where the trio will finally relax and go quail hunting with Dick Cheney.

A spokesman for Ted Nugent said the washed up rocker was initially reluctant to share the stage with a currently employed actor, but warmed up to the idea after learning that there would be underaged groupies at each event.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on February 23, 2014 6:55 AM.

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