Kentucky Churches Giving Away Guns To Help People Discover Jesus
The Kentucky Baptist Convention wants to “point people to Christ” by giving away guns at Second Amendment Celebrations hosted across the state. In the words of spokesman Chuck McAlister the strategy is “outreach to rednecks,” and 1,000 people are expected to attend the next event. To lure the nonreligious into the fold, the churches are offering a handgun, shotgun, or long gun as door prizes…. “The number of unchurched men who will show up will be in direct proportion to the number of guns you give away,” McAlister told The Courier-Journal. “And I can almost tell you the number of men who would show up based on the make or model. There is a huge interest among unchurched men in the state of Kentucky regarding guns and gun rights that is even more of a draw than a toaster or money would be.”
Depending on your perspective, Christianity is much like deodorant, toilet paper, or snack foods. It’s all about the marketing, right? After all, if you can’t convince the masses to buy your product or service you’re not going to be in business for very long. Churches are no different; they want to get their message out to the broadest audience possible. Creative theological marketing has been around for years. You’ve got your rock-and-roll churches, your storefront churches, your mall churches, etc. Not many have addressed the question many 2nd Amendment aficionados have: What sort of heat would Jesus pack? Would The Son of God carry a concealed weapon? A pistol in a hip holster? Or would he go whole hog and cling an AR-15 over his shoulder, thus openly challenging Satan to a duel for the souls of mankind?
[Insert “Bringing people to Jesus at gunpoint joke” here. Go ahead; I dare you.]
“How ironic to use guns to lure men in to hear a message about Jesus, who said, ‘Put away the sword,’” Rev. Joe Phelps, pastor of Louisville’s independent Highland Baptist Church, said according to Courier- Journal. “Can you picture Jesus giving away guns, or toasters or raffle tickets? … He gave away bread once, but that was as a sign, not a sales pitch.”
I’ll grant the fine folks at the Kentucky Baptist Convention their bona fides- I harbor no desire for a theological debate- but I find myself questioning their message. In proselytizing for the Prince of Peace, they’re appealing to the baser instincts of Kentuckians by dangling instruments of violence and death in front of them as door prizes. This in a state whose homicide and firearms death rate is higher than most states. I mean, have you seen Justified??
I have no doubt that the Kentucky Baptist Convention has found this strategy to be effective. I suspect offering lap dances might also be effective in luring potential male converts into Jesus’ open arms. Men might come to church for the firepower, but how do you know they’ll stay for the message? Will they be praising Jesus as they’re out shooting up the countryside? Or will they show up on Sunday morning because they REALLY want a Bushmaster?
Is your flavor of God a cut above other (i.e.- false) superior beings because She carries superior firepower?
(Join us this Sunday morning, when the subject of Pastor Jack’s sermon will be, “Would Jesus lay down suppressing and cover fire to save your soul?”)
It would be easy to detour deeper into satire and ridicule, but that seems superfluous. I think the entire concept of using guns to attract people to church speaks for itself in terms of comedic potential. Then again, if people can handle snakes as they praise Jesus, why not an AR-15?
Let’s just hope it’s unloaded- the rifle, not the snake.
Does God- if She in fact exists- needs a sales pitch? Do you believe the “Prince of Peace” preached peace through superior firepower? What sort of message are you sending when you believe the best way to put butts in the pews is to pass out firearms?
Not exactly “Love thy neighbor,” is it?
