May 23, 2014 6:49 AM

I'm sorry I didn't model the hatred, homophobia, and self-righteousness I know you expect of me

There’s still work to be done, Pennsylvania. It’s true that just this week, the state took great strides toward tolerance when a federal judge struck down the Keystone State’s same-sex marriage ban, but then a Bucks County Catholic school had to go and blow a gasket over a lesbian.

It seemed innocuous enough: an invitation to the upcoming St. Andrew Elementary School eighth grade “live from the red carpet” graduation dance featuring two photographs of recent Oscars host Ellen DeGeneres. The theme was clear enough - this was to be an event that was “Hollywood nights”-themed but also, as the invite promised, would feature pizza delivery. You know, the sort of thing that the 43.7 million people who watched the Academy Awards understood and apparently had no major objections to.

But soon after the invitations went out, the school’s principal, Nancy Matteo, remembered that in addition to be being a beloved entertainer and reliable awards show host, Ellen DeGeneres is also one of them there homosexual types. Mortified at the idea of a gay person’s image appearing on a Catholic school’s mailer, she sent out an email to parents — and obtained by Philly.com — apologizing for the obvious mistake. In it, she said she was “obviously NOT thinking” when the school issued an invitation featuring such a “poor role model” who “lives her life outside the teachings of the Catholic Church.”

“A role model, as defined by Webster’s Dictionary,” the email read, “is a person who is unusually effective or inspiring in some social role, job, position, etc. This does not describe her at all. We work so hard to be good role models and then I go and do something stupid!” In a statement to Philly.com, Archdiocese of Philadelphia spokesman Ken Gavin added, “All Catholic schools in the Archdiocese are firmly rooted in Gospel-based values and the teachings of the Church. As such, it is expected that any promotional materials developed by these schools would feature images and themes that correspond with their core mission and identity. That approach is logical and our school families have a right to expect it.”

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on May 23, 2014 6:49 AM.

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