A woman who recently moved to Texas from California can’t get a Texas driver’s license under her married name, because she’s married to another lady, and Texas just don’t think that’s respectable…. OK, first of all, “they” don’t have three kids because that is unpossible, and whoever birthed them babbies has between one and three kids by her own self, and the other woman is just a Sin Mommy. Second, if you want to pretend it’s possible to be married to a lady, you need to stay in Californication, where such things are tolerated, not in Texas, where they have more important things to think about, like being scared of ISIS even though the state government appears to share its moral code. And third, your marriage doesn’t exist in Texas, and so neither does your alleged last name. This is just logic. Next you will probably want to eat your pudding without having any meat first, and then it’s just anarchy…. We’re pretty sure the DPS person was just moments away from a complete system failure, babbling “Illogical…illogical… woman cannot marry woman… does not compute,” with smoke coming out of her ears and a high-pitched electronic squeal.
For those of you unfamiliar with the moral, ecclesiastical, and logical facilities of Texas Christians…well, there really aren’t any. The Lone Star State prides itself as a place that works hard to get government off the backs of Texans…but in reality that applies only to those enlightened enough to be born straight, White, and Christian. If you happen to be a married lesbian in Texas (And Good Lord, y’all; why would you be??) you’ll get roughly the same consideration and courtesy a Texan might grant to an ISIS terrorist wearing an explosive vest.
Texas is a godly state, where people do godly things…like not marrying someone of the same gender and doing things that good, God-fearing Christian-type people find kinda icky. ‘Cuz that’s just wrong in the eyes of the Lord…it says so right in the Bible. Somewhere. I think. Didn’t the Lord smite someone or blind them or something for doing icky sexy-time things with someone of the same gender?
Not only can Connie Wilson not use her married name on a Texas driver’s license, she also can’t use her unmarried or maiden (or whatever lesbians call their former) name without paying a name change fee and going to court. As if being a lesbian in Texas wasn’t already challenging and unpleasant enough, we’ve got an extra special additional degree of stupid just for you. Y’all come back…once you’re no longer lesbians.
Because Texas is such a moral and godly place, the state also refuses to process ID cards for gay military spouses (Thank you for your service and sacrifice…but only if you’re heterosexual). If you want to be gay or lesbian, go back to California, right?? (Damned lesbians…always thinking they deserve to be treated like real people. Where do they get off? Don’t they know God hates them and has condemned to a fiery Hell…that looks a lot like Wichita Falls?)
Of course, this has nothing to do with “protecting traditional marriage,” or “God’s will,” or the price of cannabis in Colorado. It’s just another attempt by bigots and haters who happen to have the law (if not morality, the Gospel of Jesus Christ, or human decency) on their side. Remember, keeping government off the backs of Texans is only a thing if you’re heterosexual, White, Conservative, and Christian. Oh, and being male is also a plus. For what’s the point and purpose of government if not to use the rule of law to make life as miserable as possible for those who lifestyle you despise and disapprove of?
It’s What Texas Jesus Would Do.
