Conservative Christian pastor Bryan Fischer declared in a column for RenewAmerica.com that the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution’s guarantee of freedom of religion must only apply to Christianity. Otherwise, he warned, Satanism will have to be recognized as an official religion. Fischer was responding to the Orange County, Florida School District’s decision to cease Christian indoctrination in public schools after the U.S. Satanic Temple asserted its right to do the same. The Satanists established that it is unconstitutional to give representatives of one faith access to students and deny access to a separate faith. To open the public school doors to faith-based proselytizing opens the doors to all faiths, including atheists, Satanists, Muslims and Jews. Brother Fischer is mightily incensed.
Bryan Fischer may not be the dumbest person on the Internet (that “honor” has been monopolized by Jim Hoft for quite some time), but a convincing argument could be made that he’s certainly the dumbest Christian on the Internet. There are just SO many things he’s wrong about Fischer’s arrogant self-righteousness that it’s difficult to know where to start. His latest paean to his own lunacy is hardly ground-breaking- Fischer takes arrogance, ignorance, and self-righteousness to new heights (or depths, depending on your perspective). Still, seriously claiming that freedom of religion applies only to Christianity is as errant as it is stupid and egocentric.
Granted, things probably look a fair bit different in Tupelo, MS- Fischer’s home base, but even giving him the benefit of the doubt doesn’t erase the myriad ways he’s wrong- WAY wrong. There’s only so much arrogance, self-righteousness, and inaccuracy a man can take…and Fischer’s approaching the limits of my medication. It’s hard to know where to begin because he’s such a truly miserable excuse for a human being, so let’s just go down the list, shall we?
1) “This incident serves as a prime example of how the gross distortion of the First Amendment is destroying religious liberty and turning Christian literature into the educational equivalent of pornography.” Uh…no; not by a long shot. The 1st Amendment’s Establishment Clause forbids the passage of laws that advance the interest of one religion at the expense of others. This is neither a “gross distortion” of the 1st Amendment, nor is it “destroying religious liberty.” Since American governance is officially secular, it cannot advance the interests of Christianity while suppressing those of Satanism…or any other religion.
2) “I have written on numerous occasions that the purpose of the First Amendment,” he said, “was only to protect the free exercise of the Christian faith and to prevent the selection and designation of one Christian denomination as the official church of the United States.” Again, no. HELL, no. I don’t know what Fischer is basing this on other than his own overheated imagination and hyper-religiosity, but the purpose of the 1st Amendment isn’t to “protect the free exercise of the Christian faith.” Nor does any legal precedent exist that would bolster Fischer’s asinine, uninformed contention. Bryan Fischer is a Constitutional scholar in the same way I’m starring in the remake of La Cage aux Folles.
3) “Low-information educators” and “activist judges,” Fischer said, have warped Americans’ understanding of the First Amendment, making them believe that the U.S. Constitution gives equal weight to all faiths. Before Fischer begins tossing around terms like “low-information” and “activist” he might want to take a good, looooooong look in the mirror. What he’d see is someone lacking the self-awareness to recognize just how “low-information” and “activist” he is. One who lives in a glass house would be well-advised to refrain from throwing stones.
4) The Establishment Clause’s statement that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion,” said Fischer, only means that the states can decide among themselves how to treat believers belonging to faiths other than Christianity. Again, I have NO idea what Fischer is basing this assertion on, because he’s offered nothing to support it. I have to assume that he’s just making this stuff up…because there’s nothing in the Establishment Clause to back him up. (If that doesn’t convince you, Google the Treaty of Tripoli.)
5) “The regulation of every other form of religious expression is reserved to the states, who then have complete latitude to restrain or permit religious expression as they see fit,” he argued. This is so inaccurate, so thoroughly and completely wrong that I simply don’t have the words to adequately express my dismay at his intellectual and moral vacancy. Neither states nor the federal government have the legal right or “complete latitude to restrain or permit religious expression as they see fit.” It’s like Fischer is just assuming the fact that he has a thought ipso facto makes it true.
6) “But now the Prince of Darkness, in our befuddled and historically ignorant fashion, has been given equal standing with the Creator of the universe,” he lamented. “Can this possibly be what the Founders intended? Of course not.” No. No. HELL no. The “Prince of Darkness” has not been “given equal standing with the Creator of the universe,” because neither has standing. American governance is secular and cannot favor one religion over another…except in Fischer’s Christian-centric world, where all the voices know his name.
7)Under Fischer’s definition of freedom of religion, i.e., freedom for Christianity, “Orange County is perfectly free to authorize the distribution of Bibles and forbid the distribution of satanic literature. Perhaps the Founders knew what they were talking about.” I have not the words to adequately state just how thoroughly, completely, and utterly wrong Fischer is. The least he could do is try to make and support an argument. It’s like he fallen back on the “God said it. I believe it. That settles it.” argument…and how can you hope to have a rational debate with such an irrational intellect?
If Bryan Fischer’s a Christian, I’m the Queen of England….
