December 2014 Archives
- December 31, 2014
Happy New Year's Eve...party responsibly, eh? - December 31, 2014
2014: A year when being alive was good and being me was even better - December 31, 2014
Exhibit A: Why the American Sheeple are morons - December 31, 2014
Amerika: Where ignoranss iznt a problum, itz a virchoo - December 31, 2014
Let's remember why Republicans have blood on their hands - December 31, 2014
This is why Jesus is a Republican, eh? - December 31, 2014
2014: The year we finally began to understand more guns don't make us safer - December 30, 2014
Just when you thought things couldn't possibly get any wierder.... - December 30, 2014
The Bible: History and faith collide...and faith loses convincingly - December 30, 2014
It's what's definitely NOT for dinner - December 30, 2014
Torture: There's no statute of limitations on doing the right thing and demanding accountability - December 30, 2014
Perhaps the NYPD should get its own house in order before having a hissy fit - December 30, 2014
Today on "Great Moments in Political Dick Jokes" - December 30, 2014
You can't treat love - December 29, 2014
They have the rainbow...but where's the unicorn? - December 29, 2014
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.... - December 29, 2014
Hi, I'm a Republican; can I use this to take a cheap shot at you for no reason? - December 29, 2014
Michele Bachmann is acceptable...but atheists are a threat to America's moral fabric?? - December 29, 2014
Congratulations, America; this is your new normal- children fearing for their lives. Nice work. - December 29, 2014
Investigating torture: We can't demand other countries do the right thing when we refuse to do so - December 29, 2014
If you believe both political parties to be the same, YOU'RE the problem - December 28, 2014
What a friend we have in cheeses - December 28, 2014
NYPD: immature, self-absorbed...and evidently built to stay that way - December 28, 2014
A "religion" about nothing - December 28, 2014
Today on "Great Moments in Derp: Chick-fil-A is the Official Chicken of Jesus" - December 28, 2014
What? Of course Jesus was White...and he spoke English - December 28, 2014
Today on "Great Moments in Cognitive Dissonance: Christians Supporting Torture" - December 28, 2014
Freedom OF religion also means freedom FROM religion - December 27, 2014
If being a writer makes me weird, I'll happily own that - December 27, 2014
Trolling for the holidays: How to draw out the intellectually inferior among us - December 27, 2014
Democratic Presidents can't even vacation as effectively as Republicans - December 27, 2014
Behold the awesome political power and influence of naked boobies - December 27, 2014
A good reason why combining rich people and religion with political power is a very bad idea - December 27, 2014
If your beliefs can't weather a few questions, you might want to question why your faith is so shaky - December 27, 2014
No, you can't roll it and smoke it...but it does get 41 MPG - December 26, 2014
Christmas was over, and Santa needed to make some cuts - December 26, 2014
With any luck, I'll be nominated for the Right's 2014 Equine Posterior Award- Mom would be SO proud - December 26, 2014
The Republican version of "Cards Against Humanity" - December 26, 2014
The mere fact of asking a stupid question doesn't make it legitimate. It just makes it stupid. - December 26, 2014
Yeah...about that whole "reason for the season" thing... - December 26, 2014
A big reason why Texas' unofficial state motto is "Thank God for Mississippi!!" - December 26, 2014
What I'm watching - December 25, 2014
I want to believe...oh, never mind - December 25, 2014
Merry Christmas and a Happy Festivus to all my readers - December 25, 2014
The Three WiFi Men: It's always good to update a classic - December 25, 2014
The final skirmish in the fictional War on Christmas - December 25, 2014
More writer's humor: All I want for Christmas is an editor - December 25, 2014
You don't have to understand a Christmas tradition...just pass me an egg roll, willya?? - December 25, 2014
California Christmas: Not like most Christmases - December 24, 2014
Dear culture warriors: The "War on Christmas" is over...and y'all lost. Badly. - December 24, 2014
Those damned atheists want to destroy everything...even Christmas - December 24, 2014
Kim Jong-un inspects the North Korean Interwebs machine - December 24, 2014
When Bill Maher nails what's wrong with modern Christianity, you have a problem - December 24, 2014
A movie I won't be seeing on Christmas Day - December 24, 2014
Cuba? It's the Devil. Communist China? Yeah, but who else will make our iPhones?? - December 24, 2014
It's What Republican Jesus Would Do - December 23, 2014
My city - December 23, 2014
Science: Just a word for cowardly, godless Liberals doing anything to avoid giving credit to God - December 23, 2014
Diverse crowd of angry middle class White people gather to protest common sense gun control - December 23, 2014
Only a coward would use the death of police officers as a means of advancing a political agenda - December 23, 2014
Not what I expected to see when I went to the movies at the Hell Plaza Octoplex - December 23, 2014
Dear church leaders: Public schools aren't target-rich environments for possible converts - December 22, 2014
Remember, love and tolerance are considered Christian virtues - December 22, 2014
Atheists rewrite Ten Commandments, world doesn't explode - December 22, 2014
Today's gratuitous cat humor - December 22, 2014
Remember, it's only curtailing liberty and personal freedom when Liberals do it - December 22, 2014
You could ask the same question about writers - December 22, 2014
"Legitimate rape": Those who don't know history are condemned to repeat it - December 22, 2014
This is why Baylor wasn't selected for the college football playoff - December 21, 2014
What has been seen cannot be unseen: Glenn Beck moves to Portland, comes out as a lumbersexual - December 21, 2014
I'm good without God. You don't have to like it, but you don't get to judge me for it. - December 21, 2014
When you love someone enough to hate them - December 21, 2014
Sorry to disappoint y'all...but you can't have a theocracy for Christmas - December 21, 2014
If the American Taliban has a Supreme Mullah, I'd wager it's Mike Huckabee - December 20, 2014
How to keep the "Christ" in "Christmas" - December 20, 2014
Perhaps the most important lesson I learned from my parents: People are people - December 20, 2014
Do you REALLY want to be subsidizing Walmart, Target, and Toys 'R' Us? - December 20, 2014
Memo to Conservatives: Creationism shouldn't be taught as equivalent to evolution...because it's not - December 20, 2014
Dear gun nuts: Perhaps it's time to thin the herd, yeah? - December 20, 2014
More guns equals more safety...like more triple chocolate milkshakes equal better health - December 20, 2014
Still wondering why we need common sense gun control? - December 19, 2014
Today's special from the 1995 Radio Shack Christmas catalog - December 19, 2014
If you hold me in disdain for my (lack of) religion, you're missing the point of your religion - December 19, 2014
How to survive your office's Christmas party. You're welcome. - December 19, 2014
Our business is the War on Christmas...and business is GOOD! - December 19, 2014
What I'm doing with mistletoe this Christmas - December 19, 2014
If he were meant to be President, he would have been born White - December 19, 2014
Dear Kim Jong-un: May I pleasepleaseplease see "Mockingjay"??? - December 18, 2014
What's on my bedside table these days - December 18, 2014
Kindness never goes out of style...unless you're a member of the New York City Patrolmen's Benevolent Association - December 18, 2014
Atheism as a religion makes no sense...perhaps because it's not a religion - December 18, 2014
Ayn Rand's Objectivism: The politics of selfishness and "f--k you" - December 18, 2014
Killing children in the name of religion means that religion is evil and morally bankrupt - December 17, 2014
Have a very dreary Christmas - December 17, 2014
Marriage: Sorry, but you don't get to define what my marriage is supposed to look like - December 17, 2014
Torture: Defeating Evil by becoming that Evil - December 17, 2014
There's not very bright. There's stupid. There's brain-dead. Then there's Elisabeth Hasselbeck. - December 17, 2014
1975 Wisdom from the New York Times: "Painting one picture doesn't make you a painter" - December 16, 2014
Black Friday...Cyber Monday...welcome to Total Tuesday, the Day of Reckoning - December 16, 2014
Dear Cleveland Police: If you want to be treated with respect, stop shooting children - December 16, 2014
An album of musical treasures for people you hate - December 16, 2014
Lindsey Graham mansplains democracy to Elizabeth Warren - December 16, 2014
Conservative White folks: Clueless and built to stay that way - December 15, 2014
A peace treaty for the "War on Christmas" - December 15, 2014
The next time you're in a restaurant, give some thought to the person bringing food to you - December 15, 2014
It's not what Jesus said, it's how you can twist what he said to support your fears and prejudices - December 15, 2014
Land of the free...except in the workplace, where your future is no longer your own - December 15, 2014
The more things change.... - December 14, 2014
Yeah, so about that whole "Bible is the literal Word of God" thing.... - December 14, 2014
There's a time and a place for religious edumication and indoctrination; it's called "Sunday School" - December 14, 2014
How many school shootings will it take? How many more have to die before we change things? - December 14, 2014
Because more guns means more ways to solve relationship problems, Texas style - December 14, 2014
Some are thought to harbor dickish tendencies; other goes to Facebook to prove their worthiness - December 14, 2014
Don'tcha just HATE schooling Christians on what their Holy Book REALLY says? - December 13, 2014
How many more before we decide innocent lives are more important than guns? - December 13, 2014
"I teach at a University, you asshole. What do you do?" - December 13, 2014
Gun nuts: Hypocrisy isn't everything; it's the only thing - December 13, 2014
White privilege means never having to say you're sorry...or listen to others - December 13, 2014
Greetings from our new idiocracy: How else could you explain the Tea Party? - December 13, 2014
Nazi toys, slave beer, strip club play sets...and you think I make this stuff up, right?? - December 12, 2014
Looks like someone's had just about enough of Christmas cheer - December 12, 2014
Today on "No Sex Please, We're British": Without double entendres, we'd have no entendres at all - December 12, 2014
Emergency preparedness, American style - December 12, 2014
Sorry, but we follow and enforce only the laws God tells us to - December 12, 2014
When you really, truly, absolutely have to get cleaned up.... - December 12, 2014
Christian terrorism: The threat no one wants to discuss - December 12, 2014
Merry Christmas from your favorite public servants - December 12, 2014
Explain again why a $15/hour minimum wage will kill America.... - December 11, 2014
A Republican Christmas list - December 11, 2014
"[T]he US is a human rights violator of the first order under international law...." - December 11, 2014
More guns means...oh, never mind.... - December 11, 2014
Welcome to Texas: I got mine, you can damned well get your own - December 11, 2014
Conservatives: Willing to ignore history, unaware they're going to repeat it - December 11, 2014
A French fry shortage?? This is why I don't live in Japan. - December 10, 2014
The CIA torture report: Defeating our enemies by becoming them - December 10, 2014
Worried that you might be a Conservative? Here's one way to tell. - December 10, 2014
Perhaps the South would be better off if it seceded altogether - December 10, 2014
Fox News Channel: For those too stupid to know they're stupid - December 10, 2014
Repeating a lie doesn't make it true, it just makes you a Right-wing theocrat - December 10, 2014
Why is Dick Cheney not in a prison cell in the Hague awaiting trial on war crimes charges? - December 10, 2014
Panem et circenses: Creating prosperity is no way to win over the American Sheeple - December 9, 2014
My Christmas list - December 9, 2014
Better to be thought a poor loser than to be Mike Kelly and remove any lingering doubt - December 9, 2014
What's on my bedside table these days - December 9, 2014
Third World America: Where insurance companies are allowed to kill patients without recourse - December 9, 2014
Narcissism and Christianity: More closely related than you might think - December 9, 2014
Religious freedom to discriminate: It's What Jesus Would Do - December 9, 2014
This is why we can't have nice things - December 9, 2014
Because more guns means more ways to solve relationship problems - December 8, 2014
The answer to the question, "Did I remember to turn the stove off when I left this morning?" - December 8, 2014
Cosmetics: An industry built on convincing women they're less than perfect - December 8, 2014
Kenova, WV: Dick the balls with...oh, wait; this is a family show - December 8, 2014
Because, as any patriot can tell you, freedom of religion applies only to Conservative Christians - December 8, 2014
What if we stopped accepting Right-wing fiscal orthodoxy as Gospel? - December 8, 2014
Doing something every President since Eisenhower has done makes Barack Obama JUST LIKE HITLER!!! - December 7, 2014
What being witnessed to feels like - December 7, 2014
Running with the Osteens: Clueless for Jesus - December 7, 2014
If you're getting your science education at church, you're being edumicated by fools - December 7, 2014
Praise God, for he shall smite those who don't believe, think, live, and love as I do - December 7, 2014
All I want for Christmas is one less religious fairy tale - December 7, 2014
Sriracha and beer...my life is now complete - December 6, 2014
I climbed the mountain in search of wisdom and found...Mr. Rogers?? - December 6, 2014
Because screaming at women is the perfect way to stop them from being baby-killing whores - December 6, 2014
The circle of life - December 6, 2014
If Mitch McConnell is the Senate's snapping turtle, Bernie Sanders is its honey badger - December 6, 2014
And we're surprised when stupid people make stupid policy? - December 6, 2014
Revenge porn: A truly evil, classless assault on a woman's dignity and privacy - December 5, 2014
The 2014 WWJD Holiday Gift Giving Guide - December 5, 2014
Today's nominee for Headline of the Year: You mean your reputation could be worse?? - December 5, 2014
A handy tutorial for trigger-happy cops - December 5, 2014
Peace on Earth and Good Will towards (only) heterosexuals - December 5, 2014
Who needs Uber when you can get a ride from a Jewish mother? - December 5, 2014
When you believe prayer will fix public education, we are well and truly screwed - December 4, 2014
If only all parents could love so unconditionally - December 4, 2014
Dreaming of a White Christmas: Erasing the line between "class" and "ass" - December 4, 2014
Mike Ditka: This is what it looks like when White privilege makes you stupid - December 4, 2014
Ferguson: Why we'll never know the truth of what happened - December 4, 2014
Poor Elizabeth Lauten: Beauty may be skin deep, but stupid goes straight to the bone - December 4, 2014
Gohmert, Bachmann, and King: Grand Marshals of the Race to the Bottom - December 4, 2014
Because, really...can a good, God-fearing Republican ever hate Barack Obama TOO much? - December 3, 2014
More writer's humor: Sometimes you just need to lighten up - December 3, 2014
A university without a football team is NOT like a day without sunshine - December 3, 2014
The good news is that we won't have to figure out how to pay for the kitchen remodel - December 3, 2014
Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Proof that those who don't know history are condemned to repeat it. Poorly. - December 3, 2014
It's what's for dinner - December 3, 2014
Conservative hypocrisy: Why do the hard work of governing when you don't have to? - December 3, 2014
America 2014: #Ferguson is the future - December 3, 2014
Oops...somebody's gonna have some 'splainin' to do - December 2, 2014
The secret to happiness - December 2, 2014
I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with unarmed opponents - December 2, 2014
A bacon mug filled with melted cheddar cheese: Because coronary arteries are WAY overrated - December 2, 2014
When you're a Puritan, judgmental hammer, everything's a dirty, shameless nail - December 2, 2014
St. Louis: Racism exposed for the world to see - December 2, 2014
White privilege means assuming you have the right to criticize African-Americans who dare to speak up - December 2, 2014
OK, so the next ridiculous argument against raising the minimum wage would be...? - December 2, 2014
Today's gratuitous blonde joke - December 1, 2014
It's Monday, so why not a picture of a beagle astride a horse? - December 1, 2014
Republicans are people, too- mean, nasty, hateful, self-righteous people - December 1, 2014
When a 4-year-old shoots your 3-year-old son, you're NOT a responsible gun owner - December 1, 2014
The gun discussion no one on the Far Right is willing to have - December 1, 2014
The net neutrality debate: Who needs facts...or an understanding of what it actually is?? - December 1, 2014
A simple Christmas wish - December 1, 2014
Better to be thought a fool than to be Ted Cruz talking about net neutrality - December 1, 2014
It's the Monday after Thanksgiving, so here's some Sarah Palin/Turkey Grinder Bloodporn