January 7, 2015 4:07 AM

Ball Don't Lie: Haters gonna hate, but we get to laugh at them

(Thanks to David Flanders)

Back in October 2013, the Portland Trail Blazers became the first NBA franchise to publicly support marriage equality, throwing the support of the organization behind a proposed constitutional amendment) that would have recognized marriages between same-sex couples. The franchise’s decision to join Major League Soccer’s Portland Timbers and Portland Thorns FC of the National Women’s Soccer League in backing the proposed ballot initiative wasn’t marked by bombastic, revolutionary rhetoric, but it made a loud and clear statement all the same — the Blazers would stand with many in their progressive-minded city, and their comparatively progressive league, “as believers in individual choice as a fundamental right of all people.” (The ballot initiative never made its way to voters, thanks to a May 2014 court ruling that overturned Oregon’s decade-old ban on gay marriage.)

It seems as if marriage equality has been the law in Oregon forever now, when in truth, it’s been all of about eight months since the ruling that overturned the state’s ban on same-sex marriage. Oregonians are to the point where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and those who warned of all manner of disaster befalling the Beaver State have crawled back under their rocks. When you get right down to it, Oregonians tend to be decidedly live-and-let-live, which is why same-sex marriage was so quickly accepted as the norm. It’s no longer a big deal here, because people accept that there aren’t flavors or marriage, there’s only marriage- without qualifiers and condemnation…which seems as it should be.

The news that the merry inbreds from the Westboro Baptist Church are coming to Portland to protest…whatever it is they’re still protesting…at the Trail Blazers game this weekend is…amusing. I mean, does anyone even take these folks seriously anymore? When I lived in Houston, they showed up at the Johnson Space Center to celebrate the deaths of the astronauts killed in the shuttle Columbia explosion over east Texas. They protest at funerals for military personnel and the victims of school shootings. No reasonable person would argue that they exist to spread the Word of God; their raison d’etre seems to be pouring salt in the wounds and dancing on the pain of others in the name of their sick, bastardized version of Christianity. To call them ludicrous wouldn’t begin to do justice to the depths of their ridiculousness. The Westboro Baptist Church is a Christian ministry in the same way Jeffrey Dahmer was a spokesman for veganism or Josef Stalin was a proponent of nonviolence.

I’m not terribly concerned about the WBC trolls protesting at Moda Center…because if I know this city as I believe I do, they’ll be greeted in typical Portland fashion. There will be silliness, most of it directed at WBC and most of it very creative and of questionable taste. You can’t just show up in Portland to drop a load of hate and not expect to be greeted with well-deserved ridicule and parody. I don’t have a ticket to the game, but I’m tempted to show up for the pregame festivities. I suspect that will be a good deal more entertaining than the game itself.

Because in the end, the Westboro Baptist Church always loses. Spectacularly.

According to a press release faxed to the WW office, the Topeka-based ministry — known for picketing everything from the Holocaust Museum to the funeral of Ronnie James Dio — is planning to protest outside Moda Center this Saturday, Jan. 10. […]

The Portland Trail Blazers punched the Lord Jesus Christ in the face,” reads the press release, which goes on to quote passages from the New Testament. “There was absolutely no reason for the Portland Trail Blazers to throw in their lot with the fags except to gratuitously kiss fag ass. The Portland Trail Blazers should REPENT and apologize to God.”

The press release led to a pretty great rejoinder from Blazers digital reporter Casey Holdahl:

I mean, I know Maurice Lucas had a temper, but I doubt he’s squaring up to two-piece with Jesus. Then again, I’m no biblical scholar.
- Casey Holdahl (@CHold) January 5, 2015

Given the Blazers’ successful early season, it might be argued that WBC hasn’t exactly chosen a team cursed by God. With a 27-8 record, the Blazers are in no danger of being confused with the Knicks or 76ers, both of whom seem nothing if not cursed. The fact that the Blazers organization took a stand for equality is hardly anti-Biblical…unless your God happens to be the mean-spirited, angry, spiteful S.O.B. the inbreds from Westboro Baptist Church call their own.

Then again, when you literally believe that God hates the entire world…well, what else could you reasonably expect?

I realize that the Westboro Baptist Church is as representative of Christianity as Louie Gohmert is of intellectual rigor, but you almost have to admire a group so committed to their twisted faith that they regularly make fools of themselves.

That said, I’m not at all certain that this was what “fools for Christ” was supposed to mean….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 7, 2015 4:07 AM.

The real reason it's not working was the previous entry in this blog.

Floriduh: Another state where love is love is the next entry in this blog.

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