January 7, 2015 3:36 AM

The Sounds of Sodomy: The Simon and Garfunkel Reunion Tour 2015

The good Christian people of Ireland have been lately pummeled with woe, on account of the fact that later this spring, voters will decide whether or not to let the homosexuals get married, to EACH OTHER, as if such a thing even exists…. Those straight families thought they could stay safe if they just boarded the doors and windows and locked the children in cages, but now an unnamed Christian group has started distributing pamphlets explaining that the “sounds of sodomy” can pass right through the locks, climb up the stairs, Casper about a bit in the hallway, and finally get into bed with your innocent Irish children. Yes, the sounds of sodomy are soon to be echoing through all of the halls of Ireland!

As any righteous, God-fearing Christian can tell you, few things can upset the expected order of things more than allowing Teh Gayz equal rights to do God-only-knows-what with God-only-knows-who. Before you know it, florists will be required to provide flowers for gay weddings and bakers will be required to bake penis cakes for those who’d recruited our precious snowflakes to their godless, hedonistic, icky lifestyle.

The Irish aren’t taking the possibility of same-sex marriage lightly. Later this spring, Ireland will be casting votes to determine if same-sex marriage should be legalized. As you might imagine, many good, God-fearing Irish Catholics are terrified at the prospect that their marriages might be imperiled by the thought of Teh Gayz marrying themselves and engaging in all manner of ickiness.

F’rinstance, didja know that the sounds of sodomy can magically travel through walls and other barriers…and travel DIRECTLY to the ears of children? Evidently, the sounds of sodomy exist at frequency beyond the range of the average adult’s hearing, but are audible to children. I never knew this, but it’s how Teh Gayz are able to win children over to the Homosexual Agenda.

It’s bad enough that, if the referendum passes, Ireland will be ruled by homosexual zombies by 2017…but now there’s the added threat to Ireland’s young ‘uns that they could fall victim to the siren’s song of the sounds of sodomy.

If Teh Gayz can force gay marriage down the throats (!!) of the good people of Idaho, Floriduh, and Mississippi, then what chance do the good Catholics of Ireland stand? How can they possibly hope that their offspring possess the moral fiber to withstand the temptations of the sounds of sodomy???

Oh, the humanity….

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on January 7, 2015 3:36 AM.

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