I really enjoy reading the information you share. Being from the South, the collective IQ of my newsfeed takes a serious dip any time race, politics, religion, sports, etc., are in the spotlight. Your insight helps me not lose faith in humanity. Ha. There are some crazy people out there. Thanks for being a voice of reason.
In the more than 13 years I’ve kept this blog together with the digital equivalent of chicken wire, duct tape, and used bubble gum, I’ve dealt with more than a few existential crises. It’s nothing major, mostly the “Does what I do here even make a difference?” conundrum or variations of the same.
One of the first things I learned about blogging was that you write a lot of things, turn them loose onto the Internet, and hope for the best. Sometimes it works, very often it doesn’t. Sometimes the things I think will generate a lot of attention or comments don’t…and I never cease to be amazed at some of the things that do attract attention. I’ve long since given up trying to figure out the whys and hows. Now I just trying to make as few editing mistakes as possible and hope that what I write actually does a difference.
Every now and again, I hear from a reader in a way that gets me to thinking that maybe, just maybe, what I do is pretty good. Maybe I do make a difference. The quote above is from a friend from Lexington, KY whom I’ve known for several years, going back to when he lived in the Portland area. It’s a long story, but I think he may have realized before I did that this was where my talent truly lies. This is my gift, and the worst thing I could do is not put it to use.
There was a time when people who’d leave nasty, personal insults in the comments upset me. It made me wonder about whether what I do is really worth it. Somewhere along the way, I realized that letting the morons get to me only meant that they were winning. I also recognized that pissing people like that off meant I just might be doing something right. If people react, it means I’ve made them think…and while I don’t set out to gratuitously aggravate readers, knowing that I’ve struck a nerve can bring a feeling of something close to satisfaction.
My hope over the next however long I’ll still get to do this is to attract a more widespread audience…and along with that perhaps a way to make a living off my writing. I’ve come to grips with the reality that I may never truly lose my amateur status, but even if I never make a dime, I still get to write. I still get to work on making my gift the best it can be in the hope that it will somehow make a difference to someone somewhere. Between my writing and my guitar, I get to let my creative muse off the leash frequently, and that feeds a part of my soul that’s needed nourishing. I don’t know where either creative endeavor will lead, but for now working on being the best I can be seems, if not sufficient, then certainly a pretty good place to start.
I’m excited to find out what the coming year will hold for me. Will I finally be able to figure out how to make a living off my writing? Will that elusive benefactor with a checkbook finally appear on my doorstep? Who knows. Whatever happens, I’ll be good. I have friends, family, a woman who loves me; the rest is just icing on the cake.
In the meantime, you’ve been a great audience! Enjoy Pablo Cruise!!
