March 30, 2015 6:07 AM

Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act: Be careful what you ask for

I don’t live in Indiana (for which I’m eternally grateful), but if I did, this is how I’d deal with the Hoosier States new “Religious Freedom Restoration Act”:

After giving it much thought, I’ve come to a decision. Now that it’s legal (at least in Indiana and soon other states) to discriminate against those whose beliefs, lifestyle, sexuality, etc., etc., ad infinitum, ad nauseum might offend one’s tender sensibilities and “religious convictions,” I’ve decided to take action.

Going forward, I will refuse to acknowledge those “born again” Conservatives who believe their “religious freedoms” were under assault because they didn’t have the right to deny others their rights. As we all know, Jesus was all about conditional love.

Any God-fearing Christian patriot will tell you that Jesus hated Teh Gayz. It says so right there in the Bible…somewhere. We think. OK, so maybe it was the Old Testament, and maybe we ignore the parts about adultery, shellfish, wearing clothes of mixed fibers, getting tattoos, etc.; because when we do those things, it’s OK to ignore them. Hey, that’s what cafeteria Christianity is all about.

Those gays, though, are HORRIBLE, abominations against God Almighty who deserved to be stoned. At the very least, we shouldn’t be forced to bake cakes for their Sodomite weddings, right??

Because I’m offended by Conservatives who wouldn’t know the teachings of Jesus Christ if He offered them up on Hannity, I will no longer countenance those who discriminate against those whose sexuality or other behavior(s) offend their religious “beliefs.”

If the American Taliban can pass a law making it legal to discriminate against those who offend them, there’s absolutely no reason that law can’t be turned on its ear and used against them. If I ran a bakery or something similar, I’d refuse to bake cakes for the weddings of Evangelicals. (‘Course, I’d be out of business in no time flat, but standing on principle sometimes requires one to make sacrifices, no?)

It’s What Jesus Would Do, don’tchaknow?

If the Oregon Legislature passed a law legalizing discrimination against Conservatives and Governor Kate Brown signed it into law, the hue and cry would be heard from sea to shining sea. “How DARE those evil Libruls discriminates against good, God-fearing Americans??”

That would never happen, of course…though it would make a valid point. When discriminating against and marginalizing those you despise, it’s advisable to proceed with caution, lest the tables be turned against you. It’s what I like to call the Law of Unintended Consequences, and it’s what happens when you don’t consider the ramifications of your actions.

If Liberals, Progressives, and Christians who actually follow the teachings of Jesus Christ decided to teaching the haters of the American Taliban a lesson, it would be easy enough to do. Just follow the language of the “Religious Freedom Restoration Act,” whose overly broad language makes it deceptively easy to discriminate against whomever may offend your tender sensibilities.

I don’t live in Indiana, but if I did, I’d be figuring out how to stage my own personal protest. It would very likely look a lot like what I’ve already mentioned, because there’s something delicious about using the tactics of haters and zealots against them.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on March 30, 2015 6:07 AM.

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