WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) - A disturbed Canadian man wants to try to get into the White House, according to reports. The man, who was born in Calgary before drifting to Texas, has been spotted in Washington, D.C. in recent years exhibiting erratic behavior, sources said. In 2013, he gained entry to the United States Senate and was heard quoting incoherently from a children’s book before he was finally subdued. More recently, he was heard ranting about a plan to dismantle large components of the federal government, such as the Internal Revenue Service and the nation’s health-care program. Despite a record of such bizarre episodes and unhinged utterances, observers expressed little concern about his plans to get into the White House, calling them “delusional.”
Once upon a time, in a land not so very far away, some Americans found cause to question the birth certificate of President Barack Obama. Though The Black Guy in the White House © produced a birth certificate confirming his birth in Hawaii, many refused to be swayed. Of course the President’s birth certificate was forged, they insisted…because the were absolutely certain that he was born in Kenya, educated in a madrassa, and was a closet Muslim.
These folks, who came to be known as “birthers” (because “ignorant, frothing at the mouth, racist lunatics” was too long), refused to countenance anything presented to them that didn’t confirm their suspicions. NO WAY would they believe that The Black Guy in the White House © was anything but an illegitimate usurper.
Oh…and did I mention that he’s Black? Because it certainly seems as if birthers have a double standard when it comes to the requirements one must meet in order to serve as President.
Birthers are convinced that Barack Obama, who was born in Hawaii, to an American mother and a Kenyan father, is an illegitimate President…though as a natural-born U.S. citizen, he’s absolutely qualified to be President. For some reason (Hmm…might skin color have something to do with it?), they’re stone silent about Republican Presidential candidate Ted Cruz (R-TX), who was born in Calgary to a Cuban father and an American mother.
So let me see if I have this straight: Barack Obama, born in America, is an illegitimate President and closet Muslim. Ted Cruz, born in Canada, is as American as apple pie and Chevrolet. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think one needs a Ph.D. to understand what the real issue is and where the hypocrisy lies. African-American Democrat BAD. White, Conservative Republican GOOD.
Yes, I really do think it’s just that simple. If you go by the criteria birthers use in order to determine who qualifies to be President, Barack Obama is actually more qualified to be President…except for the whole skin color thing.
Of course, being a racist lunatic means never having to acknowledging your hypocrisy…or your racism.
WE DESERVE BETTER.
