You’re only as old as the woman you feel.
- Groucho Marx
I’m too young to be this damned old.
- Garth Brooks
MINNEAPOLIS, MN- Today is my 55th birthday. I say that not because I’m looking to be inundated with Happy Birthday wishes (I can go to my Facebook page for that), but because of the opportunity for reflection it provides. Unless I’m fortunate enough to live to be 120 or more, I’ve crested the metaphorical hill and am now sliding down the back end of the actuarial bell curve. That’s not to be morbid, merely a reflection of reality. I’m very likely much closer to the end than the beginning, which is only depressing should I choose to dwell on it. I see no reason to do so today. Life is pretty damned good.
It’s been a interesting ride to get where I am…though not one I’d really care to reprise. Still, I am where I am because of that ride. If nothing else, it’s helped to give me a much greater appreciation of where I am, because it hasn’t always been thus. Two marriages, a seemingly endless parade of dysfunctional relationships, a chronic inability to love myself…all that and more has helped make me who I am today. While I’m not proud of a lot of it, if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that you can’t un-burn bridges. All you can do is to make the most of where you are and try to patch up what you can.
Life is a funny thing. At 20, I had no idea what lay in front of me, and I couldn’t have possibly imagined what’s played out over the intervening years. Thirty-five years later, when I can step back and survey the landscape with the perspective of experience, I recognize that the bumps and the lessons and the joys and the pain were all part of the process to get me to where I am. The corner of the world I currently occupy- physically and emotionally- is a pretty damned sweet place to be. Everything that’s come before only serves to help me appreciate that.
Erin and I are in Minneapolis to visit my family this weekend. First, though, there’s my birthday. At 1:05pm CDT today, I’ll be sitting a few rows behind home plate watching the Minnesota Twins play Cleveland. I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be today…or anyone else I’d rather share it with. It doesn’t suck to be Jack these days, and we have a very good life. And we’re just getting started.
I can hardly wait to see what the next 55 years holds for me.
