On the Internet no one can hear you when you're polite and kind

A Canadian meteorologist has described on air the hate mail she has received - simply for being pregnant. Kristi Gordon, who is due to give birth to her second child in around three months, said it was “amazing” how affected she felt by a barrage of abuse from viewers apparently disgusted that she was wearing tight-fitting clothes over her baby bump. Extraordinarily, this isn’t the first time it has happened - and the senior meteorologist said that she had “expected” the abuse because she experienced it while pregnant with her first child, who is now three.

We live in a world in which kindness can be a rare commodity. It may cost nothing to be nice, but some folks are unwilling to spend even that much to be kind to another human being. Evidently, we have a lot of issues, and we readily use those as the yardstick by which we measure the value of others. When they fall short, as people are wont to do, they should be held accountable for their shortcomings. This is especially true online, where opinions rule and judgement wreaks havoc unabated.

There was absolutely no reason Kristi Gordon should have been judged for her wardrobe or her appearance, but women in public life bear a burden never foisted on men. It’s the old “men become distinguished, women just grow old” thing. Female reporters, of whatever iteration, are held to a much higher standard when it comes to appearance. Women are expected to be attractive, demure, well-dressed…and if they’re perceived as not meeting that expectation, the reaction can be rapid and furious. It’s not fair, and it’s not right, but there it is.

Gordon would’ve been well within her rights to rip her detractors a new one. The problem with those who don’t traffic in kindness is that they very often lack the self-awareness to recognize how hurtful one of their diatribes might be. When confronted, they’ll simply respond in kind, believing that they have the absolute right to vent whatever opinion they might hold, no matter how hurtful or vile it may be.

Of course, the trolls can only play their game if you buy into it, and lobbing verbal missiles back and forth is very often what makes them feel relevant. Responding with kindness denies them the ability to play the game they love. If your game is tearing people down…well, you really suck. And if the only way you feel as if you matter is by degrading and insulting someone far more accomplished and dignified than yourself, you really, really suck as a human being. As John Wayne once said, “Life is hard. Life is harder for stupid people.” The same could be said for those for whom enmity and insult are like breathing.

Anyone can afford kindness. The sad thing is that so few purchase it…and even fewer seem able to put it to use.