May 4, 2015 4:53 AM

Texas Freedumb: Because who needs the tyranny of healthy children?

If Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller gets his way, the state’s 10-year ban on deep fryers and soda machines in public schools will disappear like $10 elastic waist jeans from a Walmart clearance bin. In a letter to the editor of the Houston Chronicle, Miller stood by his 2014 campaign proposal because government tyranny might be lurking around any salad bar.

I believe each school district - not the state or federal government - should decide what foods are offered to students. It’s about giving back local control and allowing each school district to make the best decision for their community.

It’s simple. If a school district doesn’t agree with any of these changes, then the district doesn’t have to implement them. That’s the beauty here. It’s not about French fries; it’s about freedom. I will always support decision-making at the local level.

The beautiful thing is that Texas Republicans will always bow to the will of local government…well, unless they want to ban fracking, that is. Energy companies write big checks, don’tchaknow??

For whatever reason, Commissioner Miller seems to have a soft spot in his heart for individual school districts making their own decisions about what they feed their students…especially when it comes to sugar. Evidently, since HE turned out OK, why shouldn’t Texas children be fed sugary foods as part of a balanced diet? One of his first acts upon taking office was to issue a pardon to cupcakes. Yes, you read that correctly, because NOTHING says “FREEDUMB!!” like cupcakes with sugary frosting and sprinkles…amiright??

Yep, Texas classroom sizes may be increasing…but as any good, God-fearing, Texas patriot will tell you, freedumb means being able to eat WHAT you want WHEN you want. Anything less borders on communism, and if you don’t agree, you’re probably a communist, anyway.

We’ve been raising big, strapping, healthy young kids here in Texas for nearly 200 years. We don’t need Washington, D.C., telling us how to do it,” he said.

Because when nutritionists and other eggheads start telling Texans what to do and how to do it, that’s the very definition of TYRANNY, people.

TYRANNY!!!!

I get the whole “Texans want to be free to make their own decisions” thing. The truth is, NO ONE wants to be told what to do. In order for society to function, there have to be rules in place. When people make bad decisions- like feeding fried foods and sugary drinks to schoolchildren- there has to be a mechanism in place for restoring order and common sense. Unless you like having obese, unhealthy children, that is.

Instead of fighting the symbolic battle of whether or not children should be allowed to eat cupcakes during the school day, how about doing things to actually improve public education? Or is it just easier to do something dripping in symbolism than to engage in the hard work of trying to make things better?

As if I need to answer that question.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on May 4, 2015 4:53 AM.

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