June 11, 2015 6:05 AM

Jade Helm conspiracy theorists: Not exactly MENSA candidates, are we??

[T]o see U.N vehicles and equipment gearing up in place here in the U.S simply means that they too are gearing up for a national emergency or crisis of some sort that requires the U.N to step in and partially take controll. For other nations this may not be a big deal because they can’t handle a national crisis( such as 3rd world nations, or nations with small military forces). But for a world superpower to have to have the assistance and need for the U.N is substantial . What national crisis or emergency will be so widespread and so massive enough on the scale to overwhelm U.S forces? With Jade Helm about 35 days away ,there’s no doubt much of this U.N equipment will be used within the drill itself and this is why we will continue to see movement military vehicles and equipment nationally. And with everything and everyone in place militarily in September. When these culmination of events go down, EVERYONE will see why Jade Helm was put in place! They will no doubt be fresh and ready to go during a national emergency comming [sp?] in September.

When you see this breathless headline on a Facebook page: U.N VEHICLES ON I-35 IN TEXAS & WHAT DOES THIS REALLY MEAN FOR THE U.S, it’s not a stretch to marvel at the distressingly poor syntax wonder what some of these folks have been smoking. There are a sizable number of intellectual tabula rasas in the Lone Brain Cell State who fervently believe THE GUVMINT’S GONNA INVADE TEXAS!!! Because if I was going to take over America, I’d certainly start by invading a God-forsaken hellhole with far more copperheads and armadillos than targets of anything even faintly resembling military value. Yes, Texas is Just. That. Important. to the sanctity of our freedom and all that real red-blooded, God-fearing, Conservative White Christian patriots hold dear.

‘MURRICA!!!!

Sadly, Texas is home to far too many intellectually challenged sheeple with anger control issues and a deficit of functional brain cells. How did we get here? BECAUSE THE UN AND BARACK OBAMA HAVE AUTHORIZED THE INVASION OF TEXAS AND THE VIOLENT REPRESSION ITS PEOPLE. THIS. SHALL. NOT. STAND!! Of course, the fear of One World Government and an America under the control of Barack Obama’s jackbooted private army has been around for years. It’s widely known that America is but one black helicopter away from being turned into a brutal dictatorship ruled by violent, ruthless, homosexual Islamofascist bent on making decent, God-fearing American patriots beg for anal sex from Pat Robertson.

I find it fascinating that so much intellectual capital (at least what passes for it in Texas) has been expended on weaving ever wilder and implausible conspiracy theories. Even better is that the Governor is heavily invested in pandering to the growing pool of intellectual bottom feeders. Of course, if you don’t believe that Jade Helm 15 is just the spear tip of Barack Obama’s plan to subjugate Americans to the will of his radical homosexual Muslim masters, then you’re a dupe of the mainstream media…and not even Sean Hannity won’t be able to set you straight.

Most people in the United States who aren’t living in Texas can barely put up with Texas. It may not be the most ignorant state in the union in terms of concentration, but simply by virtue of it’s size it has the largest volume of pure, weapons-grade stupidity and it’s damn well legally ratified that stupidity better than anybody else. Texas has so much misguided pride in every single thing it does that it’s only natural for it to revel in its lack of anything approaching enlightenment. You want a U.S. representative who immediately blames mass-casualty shootings on a lack of God in schools and who goes on wild-eyed rants about owls mating on Kmart signs? Texas has it. Looking for a senator who reads Green Eggs and Ham on the Senate floor — completely missing the point of it — and who leads a full shutdown of the government? There’s Texas. A state that threatens to secede from the union every national election cycle? Texas, baby.

The bottom line here is that if a substantial portion of the U.S. — the portion with an average IQ above that of a hamster — had its way, Texas would be overrun by those ISIS troops it’s afraid are going to come across the border from Mexico. Nobody gives a shit about Texas except Texans. And yet, in the latest case of that special mind-boggling combination of idiocy and arrogance that the Lone Stars specialize in, the governor of Texas is officially concerned that government troops are going to make his state the very first step on their way to creating a junta on American soil.

When you examine the circumstantial evidence- the white UN trucks on trailers on I-35, the military vehicles parked in the lots of shuttered Walmarts, the razor wire, and…well, HOW MUCH MORE EVIDENCE DO YOU NEED?? WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!!! Of COURSE The Black Man in the White House © is coordinating the handing over of American sovereignty to his radical homosexual Islamofascist overlords. The invasion of Texas (and soon after, America) is a dead certainty; the only questions are exactly when, where, and how many patriots will lose their lives defending themselves and their families from their own government.

That there are people predisposed to assuming the worst and tuning in Fox News Channel to have their fears confirmed is hardly surprising. There’s always been a strain of lowest intellectual common denominator extant in America. That so much of it has taken up residence in Texas is perhaps the best argument yet for allowing the Lone Brain Cell State to secede.

Perhaps we should ask Mexico if they want Texas back? Then again, that might not be the best way to keep relations with the neighbors on the other side of our southern border amicable.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on June 11, 2015 6:05 AM.

What I learned from the voices in my head was the previous entry in this blog.

If I could monetize emotional baggage, I'd be wealthy beyond my wildest dreams is the next entry in this blog.

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