Fox News radio host Todd Starnes over the weekend delivered a sermon encouraging Christians to fight back against same-sex marriage and transgender equality. Speaking to Abilene Baptist Church in Augusta on Sunday, Starnes began by saying it was good to be back in the South where it was easy to find Waffle House and Chick-fil-A restaurants, which he argued was “the official chicken of Jesus.”…. “I believe that the reason that God blessed America is because we know how to smoke a pork butt,” Starnes said, turning to the recent Supreme Court ruling that effectively legalized same-sex marriage…. “There is a war on religious liberty!” he bellowed. “And this war is not targeting people of the Muslim faith or the Jewish faith or the Hindu faith. This war on religious liberty is targeting people of the Christian faith.”
Let me begin by pointing out the WAY too obvious (and intensely disturbing) use of “smoke a pork butt” when attempting (and failing) to construct an argument against same-sex marriage and transgender equality. I’m not going to go into detail…if for no other reason than I suspect I probably don’t need to. Let’s just file this away under “(Not So Very) Great Moments in Analogizing,” shall we?? I can only imagine what Dan Savage might do when gifted with the equivalent of a fast ball in the middle of the plate….
I address this only for its (not insignificant) humor potential. It’s not as if anything Todd Starnes says is worthy of being taken seriously, because he sounds like someone who’s been off his Thorazine for WAY too long. His argument that legalizing marriage equality is a de facto declaration of war on Christianity is prima facie absurd…while having the added virtue of being tremendously entertaining.
“The official chicken of Jesus?” Really? I mean, where (and how) does one begin to address such arrogant and over-cooked hyper-religious absurdity?
Starnes has managed to work himself into a lather over his belief that the Supreme Court has created an environment in which it’s open season on Christians…except that nothing could be further from the truth. There’s no credible argument to be made for a “war on religious liberty” that’s somehow “targeting people of the Christian faith.” Not when 80% Americans self-identify as Christians. And especially not when there’s a far more credible and convincing argument to be made that Christians are targeting Muslims. I’d refer you to Murfreesboro, TN, and the intense opposition to the building of a mosque there or to Farmersville, TX, where a proposed Muslim cemetery is viewed as posing a clear and present danger to good, God-fearing Christian ‘Mericans patriots.
It’s the height of arrogance and hubris (among Starnes’ most redeeming qualities) to claim a war against religious liberty exclusively targeting the majority religion. That is, unless you consider being denied the “right” to oppress and discriminate against others in Jesus’ name to be the very definition of anti-Christian oppression.
According to Starnes, the government would begin criminalizing Christian beliefs in “just a few short years.”
“God hasn’t redefined anything!” he exclaimed to ‘Amens’ from the congregation. “If you think the cultural purging of the Dukes of Hazzard had been breathtaking in recent days, wait until you see what they’re about to do to Christians.”….
“The time has come for all of us to stand together with one voice!” Starnes insisted. “They may demand to know the content of our prayers, they may try to shut down our bakeries, they may try to silence our voices, but we will not be silenced! We will not be intimidated!”
First of all, anyone who presumes to speak for all Christians and all of Christianity could only be described as terminally arrogant and harboring delusions of grandeur. There are actually a surprisingly large number of Christians, very likely a pronounced MAJORITY of Christians, who believe Starnes is full of crap. Most good and decent Christians don’t believe there’s a biblical injunction against marriage equality…primarily because the Bible discusses several different- often widely conflicting- types of marriage.
I’m not certain what delusions and hallucinations Starnes is basing his theology on, but it certainly isn’t the Gospel of Jesus Christ- you know, the Savior who preached love, tolerance, acceptance and inclusion? And how sad is it that an avowed non-believer knows more about the Gospel than an off-his-meds ninny willing to stand up in front of a congregation and preach hatred and exclusion in the name of Jesus Christ? How is it that Starnes sees nothing wrong with displaying his stunning lack of familiarity with the very Scripture he claims expertise on? How could someone so allegedly familiar with Scripture ignore (or simply refuse to understand) the many and contradictory definitions of marriage to be found in the Bible?
The Supreme Court didn’t “redefine” marriage, because the Bible never identifies em>The One And Only True Flavor of Marriage ©. Nowhere will you find one consistent definition. There are in fact many widely differing and seriously inconsistent versions to be found throughout the Bible. What those definitions actually mean is something I’m not particularly interested in; theological debates aren’t my thing. What should be clear to anyone who knows anything at all about the Bible is that nowhere to be found is one “official,” consistent definition of the institution of marriage. What the American Taliban uses as their definition of “tradition marriage” is one part Scripture and four parts prejudice and homophobia. They can’t quote Jesus preaching against marriage equality…because He never did.
I’ve long since devoted way too many brain cells and column inches to debunking this sort of absurd pseudo-Christian authoritarianism. This is the reasons I refer to zealots like Starnes as the American Taliban. They’re far less about spreading the love of Jesus Christ than they are about their hateful intolerance of anything that doesn’t dovetail precisely with their narrow fear-based morality. Todd Starnes and his ilk are about true Christianity in the same way Timothy McVeigh was about peaceful conflict resolution.
That said, I really should give Starnes’ style points for declaring Chick-Fil-A to be “The official chicken of Jesus.” That may be evidence of sheer, unmedicated lunacy…but for sheer creativity and originality, I have little choice to bow to Starnes’ superior skills. Either the new medication is working…or he’s just that truly bat$#!@ crazy…like a fox.
Well played, sir.
