I’m not the one outing them. Someone else did. This is simply public shaming, which I think is okay when talking about someone stepping out of their marriage. The less and less marriage means to people now a days leads to more and more people cheating on their spouses, if public shaming helps keep people in line, so be it. They broke the rules society set forth and thought they were above them. They got caught. tough shit. You know what happens to people who get caught cheating? They are publicly shamed, and seeing as that is one of the only consequences to the act, no I don’t tink they deserve to be let off the hook.
However you might feel about the Impact Team hackers releasing personal data obtained from AshleyMadison.com, there are some very real and significant issues in play. I’m not about to justify or defend adultery, what some (myself included) consider a violation of a solemn vow made on one’s wedding day to be faithful to their life partner. We can debate that up or down all day long, but that’s not my purpose here. No, my problem is with those who feel they have the right to expose others because they have the skills and resources (and righteous indignation) to do so. When people feel empowered to play vigilante, have we reached a point where anything goes? Where anyone with the knowledge, skills, and resources can expose the dirty little secrets of those who may have deliberately strayed from the path of righteousness? Where anyone feeling morally superior can decide to expose others who for whatever reasons fail to meet their standards?
The bottom line for many is that those who paid for a membership at AshleyMadison.com were looking to have an affair. That is, after all, what the site purports to offer- “Life is short. Have an affair.” While certainly not laudable behavior, I wonder about those who feel it their right- possibly even obligation- to sit in judgment of those whose “crime” was in no way committed against them. No one can know the nature of a relationship they’re not involved in…but does a person not involved in said relationship have the right to post information that could have a dramatic impact on it? Should the aggrieved party know what their spouse has been up to? If so, who gets to provide them that information? I’m not saying I have the answers, merely that these questions need to be asked…and pondered…because those answers can and very likely will have significant impact beyond anything we might imagine.
As John Herrman wrote, the day the AshleyMadison.com information was released was “the first day of the rest of your internet…millions of lives may be about to change profoundly.” For my part, I don’t believe the question of whether these people are deserving of having such profound change forced upon them is an appropriate one to be asked (and answered) by Internet vigilantes, many of whom live in a black and white world ruled by standards they’d never dream of holding themselves to. Not that anyone with half a brain and a grip on reality would believe the Internet to be an appropriate repository for personal secrets…but who among us has the right to appoint themselves moral judge, jury, AND executioner?
Ladies and gentleman, start your divorce attorneys….
It is very, very easy to sit back and watch karma work its magic on people who thought they could get away with having their wedding cake and eating it too.
There’s an element of glee at this Ashley Madison hack, the idea that the cheaters are getting what they deserve…. Like everyone in the world can be sorted “victims” and “people who deserve whatever’s coming to them.”
We cross a line when we use our own moral standards to determine how to insert ourselves into the relationships of others. Again, the morality (or lack of same) of infidelity aside, exposing someone as a member of AshleyMadison.com seems an awful lot like the Internet version of vigilante justice. Someone may seem “worthy” of exposure (Josh Duggar paid for TWO AshleyMadison.com memberships) due to hypocrisy or the refusal to abide by the standards they hold others to, but is it really our place to publicly shame someone? Isn’t this the old “he who is without sin should cast the first stone” conundrum? What IF you were one of the people exposed? What if you’d purchased a membership, perhaps in a moment of weakness or anger, only to immediately regret and then cancel the membership? Would you think you deserve to be outed as a potential adulterer…and what impact might that have on your life and/or marriage? Do you REALLY think it appropriate to inflict damage you can’t even begin to imagine on someone you’ve never met…and likely never will?
Think about that for a moment…what if your keyboard held the power to destroy someone’s life over what may be a simple mistake you lack the context to fully grasp? What would you do? What would you hope someone would do if they held that power over you?
It’s easy to revel in the suffering and public shaming of others. After all, as most of our mothers once said, “If you haven’t done anything wrong, what do you have to worry about?” Except that life is rarely so simple, we all make mistakes, and we all hope for a second chance if we %$@# up.
Sadly for all of us, Internet Vigilante Justice (“Ready!! Fire!! Aim!!”) is sure, swift, and not at all concerned with shades of grey.
We all have skeletons in our closets…so what happens when the Internet decides to focus it’s almighty righteous outrage on you??
