Fans of the Seattle Seahawks have gained a reputation as not dealing well with losing, which is weird, because they had all of recorded human history up until about 2003 to get good at it. They’ve also gained a reputation as the NFL fanbase most likely to start a pointless petition when things don’t go their way. Now some more sensible fans are striking back at the whinier elements among them, and doing so with petitions of their own. Patient zero appears to be this petition, from back in November, calling on Fox to pull Joe Buck and Troy Aikman from calling Seahawks games because of a perceived anti-Seattle bias. Currently sitting at more than 19,000 signatories, it reads: Aikman & Buck’s comments heavily favor any and all of the Seahawks opponents. Their comments are incredibly critical and degrading. Not only do we respectfully request, the 12th Man DEMANDS that these two commentators be banned from calling any future Seahawks games.
One of the things I’ve learned during my sojourn in the Pacific Northwest is that there are few sports fans as arrogant, entitled, self-important, and thin-skinned as Seattle sports fans. Seattle fans have always (on aggregate) been insufferable, but they’re the type of fans who define bias as any comments not wholeheartedly and without reservation complimentary of the home team. They’ve come to believe that the best way to remedy perceived slights (whether real or wholly imagined) is with a petition demanding the grievances be addressed and remedied forthwith. Never mind that those to whom their petitions are directed don’t give a flying $#&% about their tender sensibilities.
Seahawks fans are world class when it comes to a self-important sense of entitlement. The latest episode of collective butthurt came after Seattle lost in this year’s NFL playoffs in Charlotte, NC. During the Panthers’ post-game celebration, a Seahawks fan waved a “12” flag in Panthers quarterback Cam Newton’s face. Newton responded (understandably) by snatching it from the surprised fan’s hands, balling it up, and tossing it away like so much trash. This is what happens when you engage in taunting…yet Seahawks fans were incensed about Newton’s behavior? Are you kidding me??
Newton’s reaction got him an over-the-top, self-righteous letter from a Seattle fan who proclaimed that Newton had violated all that was sacred and holy about being a Seahawks fan…as if Newton was somehow bound by protocol requiring him and anyone not blessed to call Seattle home to prostrate themselves in mute obeisance before Seahawks fans.
The letter was followed by a petition asking that Cam Newton be banned from CenturyLink Field when the Panthers come to Seattle, as they will next season. Never mind that there’s absolutely NO way such a petition could- or would- ever be honored. Fans don’t get to choose who’s allowed to play for opposing teams; if it was otherwise, every opponent of my Minnesota Vikings would fill out their rosters with geriatric oncology patients towing oxygen bottles behind their wheelchairs.
Things have gotten so silly that even some Seahawks fans are beginning to push back, starting with a petition to institute a blanket ban on all petititons from Seahawks fans. When Seattle sports fans, never renowned for self-effacement or self-knowledge, begin to understand they’re embarrassing themselves, you know things have long since gone off the reservation.
Nonetheless, credit where credit is due. It’s a start.
Fellow Seahawks fans, the letters you write chastising Cam Newton for tearing down a 12 flag in his home stadium and petitions you start trying to ban him from The C-link are making all of us look like pathetic, whiny bitches. It only takes one or two of these stupid stunts to embarrass millions of 12s and make the rest of the country think we’re a bunch of crybaby sore losers. Yes, we (along with many, many football fans around the country) think Cam Newton is an arrogant, unsportsmanlike, showboating douche canoe. But for god’s sake, get a grip. Grow up, get over it, start acting like football fans and knock it the hell off. There are plenty of fans around the country who hate us and some of our players, too. It goes with the territory when you dominate the league. Let’s show them we’re the superior team and fanbase by our performance on the field and in the stands next year.
Cam Newton’s antics are no more or less objectionable than Russell Wilson’s sanctimonious goody-two-shoes act. You don’t have to like seeing Newton having fun at your team’s expense, but sometimes you’re the fire hydrant…and sometimes you’re the dog. Win, and you get to celebrate as you see fit. Lose, and your only option is to watch in silence as your opponents dance and sing. Such is the nature of sports- it creates winners AND losers. It’s not unreasonable to expect losers to react with as much class as losers…something Seattle fans have never taken to heart.
The truth is that no one outside Seattle gives a damn about Seattle’s teams…save for displaced former Seattle residents, I suppose. No one cares that they believe their teams to be the apotheosis of righteous sporting excellence, and that this (in their minds) makes them worthy of special treatment. No, it’s really time y’all got over yourselves and accept that you and your teams are no more or less special than those hailing from any other Earthly paradise.
Oh…and before I forget, here’s a question for Seattle sports fans coming from a Portland Timbers supporter: How many MLS Cups have your Sounders won? Hmm?? None? Sorry for that, but before you begin thinking you’re all that and a box of Cracker Jacks, a little humility might be in order.
