My idea for ending the #Oregonstandoff is to set up loud speakers and have @fakedansavage read #bundyeroticfanfic until they come out.
— Michael Whitlow (@mikelow42) January 7, 2016
It would be difficult to find the words adequate to the task of describing what a comedy gold mine the occupation of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge has turned into. I’m sure that at first it may have seemed like a good idea to those who currently occupy the wildlife sanctuary in remote southeatern Oregon- “Hey, let’s take over an unoccupied wildlife sanctuary in the middle of nowhere and show the federal government who’s in charge!!”
Yeah, it probably seemed like a great idea…until someone realized no one had brought any food…and that one of the volunteers had run off to a motel and was **[drinking away some of the money that had been donated to their cause](https://www.rawstory.com/2016/01/tearful-militant-discovers-friend-drank-away-donation-money-its-like-finding-out-there-is-no-such-thing-as-santa/)**. Then they discovered that southeastern Oregon in January is, as one wag put it, “flat ass cold.”
Turns out, that life as a patriot defending freedom is harsh. Yep, every red-blooded American patriot dreams of joining a militia…until winter sets in…and the food runs out…and the boys started getting lonely. Enter the Internet…and the rest needs no further introduction.
"Jason pressed Jed against a rack of "Birds of Oregon" books; his breath was sweet with jerky. Somewhere, an egret cried" #bundyeroticfanfic
— colin meloy (@colinmeloy) January 6, 2016@colinmeloy Ammon ran a hand through Ryan's hair, then eased him down, whispering "I grant you unlimited grazing rights." #bundyeroticfanfic
— Eric Heidle (@Ericheidle) January 7, 2016"I want you to take me like Obama takes our freedoms," Jed whispered.
The sound of a Carhartt zipper was his only reply. #bundyeroticfanfic
— Liandre (@canunderum) January 7, 2016#bundyeroticfanfic The small improvised washtub was filled with two things: Cletus… and Cheetos. "C'mon, Ammon," he purred. "Snack time."
— Skip Mendler (@smendler) January 7, 2016"Did you bring condoms?" Jed whispered. "Not to worry, we're protected by the 1st and 2nd Amendment" Ammon replied. #bundyeroticfanfic
— J Julian Christopher (@JulianChristo) January 7, 2016"This land is your land," Ammon said, as Jed prepared to plant his seed. #bundyeroticfanfic
— Kristine Bella Noel (@KBellaNoel) January 7, 2016"My passion is like federally owned land" Cletus sighed. "Then set it aflame!" Ammon cried out #bundyeroticfanfic
— Nick Brigadier (@nickbrigadier) January 7, 2016Jethro looked at Cleatus's long, salty jerky with unbridled desire, "I need a snack…and I need it now." #bundyeroticfanfic
— Mike Maillaro (@SkitchNM) January 7, 2016Ammon’s blue eyes reflected the dying embers of their campfire, and Jeb knew they’d finally do more than just bare arms. #bundyeroticfanfic
— Tom Joad (@OlTomJoad) January 7, 2016Bundy rested his hands on his belt, framing his crotch. "Government ain't the only thing that's too big 'round here." #bundyeroticfanfic
— TerriMeeker (@ActualTerri) January 7, 2016His barrel shroud had cooled, but his ardor had not. In the limpid pools of Ammon's eyes, he saw the second coming #bundyeroticfanfic
— brandon hall (@arthurdenu) January 7, 2016The vegan jerky gave him sensations he'd never had. It reminded him of Scout camp, only this time he was the Scoutmaster. #bundyeroticfanfic
— David I. Jenkins (@scriptdave) January 7, 2016"But they'll hear us," Ammon whispered breathlessly. "No, they will not," Jason replied, "I'm using a silencer." #bundyeroticfanfic #fb
— Max Reddick (@MaxReddick) January 7, 2016Ammon slid his hand inside LaVoy's flannel shirt. 'You set fire to the open range land of my soul,' he whispered." #bundyeroticfanfic
— Brian Young (@BrianYoung) January 7, 2016"They huddled together for warmth. The cold of Ammon's Ruger 22 against Brian's naked thigh sent a thrill up his spine." #bundyeroticfanfic
— colin meloy (@colinmeloy) January 6, 2016"Ammon, look! They sent us glitter! Get the bag balm, this is going to be fun!" #bundyeroticfanfic
— josh blumental (@JoshBlumental) January 7, 2016#bundyeroticfanfic Bring your Ding-Dongs over here and I'll be your Jolly Rancher all night, boys.
— Laura Horowitz (@12newmoons) January 7, 2016Ammon gathered the boys in the back room. “Get your guns out and get ready to shoot,” he said as he dropped to his knees.#BundyEroticFanFic
— ohmytodd (@ohmytodd) January 7, 2016LaVoy waited anxiously under his cold blue tarp. Who would be the first among his brethren to ease the ache in his loins? #bundyeroticfanfic
— LALAFRANCE (@LaLaFrance) January 7, 2016The first thrust felt invasive, but Jed saw the determination in Ammon's eyes as he moaned, "no egrets, no regrets." #bundyeroticfanfic
— KT (@HuntandSlather) January 7, 2016Ammon's knowledge of millimeters and calibers was inadequate to describe the manly weapons packed by his bunkmates. #BundyEroticFanFic
— Clay Underwood (@tclayunderwood) January 7, 2016"Nobody takes my gun away from me," Ammon claimed. Jed gripped the rock-hard flesh. "Then I'll unload it for you." #BundyEroticFanFic
— Tina Folsom, Author (@Tina_Folsom) January 7, 2016"Gosh" sighed Amon as he surrendered to Ryan's arms - realizing that, til now, he'd never been *truly* well-regulated…#BundyEroticFanFic
— nick mckinney (@yabutmckinney) January 7, 2016Donald's eyes grew wide at the sheer scale of Ted's large capacity magazine. He could shoot all night. #bundyeroticfanfic
— Jeff Frost (@Jeff_Frost) January 7, 2016Ammon's and Jed's passion smoldered, like 50,000 acres of illegally backburned Federal grazing land. #BundyEroticFanFic
— Michael J. Curtiss (@MichaelJCurtiss) January 7, 2016Jed came up behind him, slipped his hands into the pockets of Ammon's tight jeans and whispered, 'I'll meet your demands' #bundyeroticfanfic
— Matt Norton (@i_am_MattNorton) January 7, 2016"Your right to bare arms with me shall not be infringed!" Jed cried in response. #bundyeroticfanfic
— Michael Alber (@DarthMalber) January 7, 2016#bundyeroticfanfic "Lay down your arms, Jed. I won't be so hard on you when I take you in," Ammon whispered.
— Marli Ramsey (@pipesup) January 7, 2016#bundyeroticfanfic
Ammon hesitated. “Isn’t this against the laws of nature?”
”Laws?” panted Dwight, “We make our own laws, Ammon."
— Remittance Girl (@remittancegirl) January 7, 2016As Cletus gazed longingly at Ammon's naked body, he finally understood the real fight for grazing rights. #BundyEroticFanFic
— Catherine (@deja1422) January 7, 2016It was a tangled orgy of Velcro, cowboy hats, and unsullied Carharts. And that's when Jeb saw Joe's 9MM. All 9MM of it. #bundyeroticfanfic
— Stefan Douglas (@ForestKing5280) January 6, 2016'I love you……Lady Liberty!' Ammon sighed as he came hard, one hand filled w/ Constitution, the other w/ his barrel. #bundyeroticfanfic
— Goddess of Doom Inc (@ShinyFab) January 6, 2016@colinmeloy "Paint me like one of your Smith & Wesson's!" Clarence says, spread-eagle on top of a pile of beef-jerky. #bundyeroticfanfic
— Boozy Hobo (@Boozy_Hobo) January 6, 2016"Cliven, the proud patriarch, sent Ammon & Ryan his Gratitude. Gratitude, the family goat, was never the same again." #bundyeroticfanfic
— Stefan Douglas (@ForestKing5280) January 6, 2016@colinmeloy He was worried at first it wouldn't fit, but his brother sweetly assured him, "Gauge is just a number." #bundyeroticfanfic
— Eric Swanson (@genericswanson) January 6, 2016@colinmeloy Zek had fired some big guns before, but this would be his first true magnum. #bundyeroticfanfic
— John Wegner (@Rtheny) January 6, 2016
