You know you're a sorry excuse for humanity when....

PORTLAND, Ore. — A man wearing a Green Bay Packers hat was violently assaulted outside a Northwest Portland bar last weekend. Sam Whitehorn, 26, was outside Muu Muu’s diner on NW 21st Avenue near Hoyt Street Saturday night when he was approached by three men. Whitehorn’s mother told KATU News the group was making fun of Sam for wearing a Packers hat after his team lost. One of the men punched Sam, who then fell to the ground and hit his head on the cement. He was hospitalized in an intensive care unit (ICU) at a local hospital for a fractured skull, concussion and brain hemorrhage.

It’s no secret that I’m a life-long Minnesota Vikings fan, and that my hatred for the Green Bay Packers runs deep. Always has, always will. That said, “hatred runs deep” is relative. I don’t hate the Packers in nearly the same way I hate hypocrisy or religious intolerance or homophobia or…well, you get the point, right? The things I despise in real life are things that actually matter, that have tangible and significant impacts on real flesh and blood people.

Football is a game and, relatively speaking, my hatred of the Packers is not at all unlike hating…say, cancer or racism or rabid nationalism. I have Packers fan in my life- most of my family, f’rinstance- but that rivalry is friendly…and I’m certainly not about to resort to physical violence in support of my team. No matter what happens on the gridiron, the sun will come up in the same place tomorrow morning. Life will go on…and there’s always next Sunday. Or next season.

It’s a game, y’all; perhaps someone should have told the asshole Seahawks fan who decided to severely beat Sam Whitehorn to within an inch of his life for the evidently unpardonable sin of wearing a Packers cap. Yes, it’s an ugly logo and color combination and yes, I intensely dislike anything and everything about the Packers (except for Aaron Rodgers, who’s class personified), but supporting your team in no shape, manner, OR form justifies physical violence against those unfortunate or not enlightened enough to support a different team.

I hope that the sorry ambulatory meatsack responsible for beating Whitehorn will be caught and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. This isn’t England, after all, where this sort of brutal tribalism is far more common. No one deserves to be attacked simply because of an arguably poor choice of headwear (my opinion; I’m sure Whitehorn would beg to differ). In the meantime, a GoFundMe page has been set up to help defray Whitehorn’s medical bills…which will be considerable. I understand the Packers organization has reached out to Whitehorn’s family, and I hope the Seahawks will as well. On-field rivalries are one thing, but they have little to do with real life.