THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD
(apologies to Keith Olbermann)
Pastor James David Manning
Can I share this with you, to all the sodomites, that think you’re gonna purchase this church in a foreclosure sale? Lemme tell you something. Before you can ever own the Lord’s house — ‘cause that’s what this is. This is the Lord’s house! This ain’t no damn bath house. This ain’t no fag house! This is the Lord’s house! And before YOU can EVER own this property, hook or crook, to own this property, you will be carryin’, MEN who are FAGS, with TESTICLES, will be carryin’ babies in their TESTICLES and givin’ birth to them through their ANUS! That’s how impossible it is for you to get this house! When you start carryin’ a baby in your bags, and birthin’ that baby THROUGH YO ASS, then you can own this house! Until I see you pull a baby OUT YO ASS, you ain’t gonna pull this church out from underneath us! And boom shacka lacka goes right there! And all you fags can GO TO HELL! And do it now. I’m James David Manning, everybody! I’m the LORD’S servant.
From time to time, I’m accused of “Christian-bashing,” though nothing could be further from the truth. I prefer to let Christian bigots hoist themselves on their own petards. In most cases, there’s really very little for me to do or say. Take Pastor Manning, f’rinstance- that (not so very) kind, gentle, compassionate example of what Christian love and charity is all about. In another dimension.
Here in the real world, Manning is certainly modeling something…and though I can’t begin to imagine what it may be, I suspect it has a very long, unpronounceable name and necessitates treatment with heavy psychotropic medication. To put it mildly, Dude has some issues, knowhutimean??
‘Course, we should perhaps cut Pastor Manning some slack. After all, his little hateball of a church is $1.02 million in the hole and facing the prospect of being sold out from under him at auction. Yeah, I know; karma can be SUCH a bitch, right?? As you might imagine, Pastor Manning isn’t taking his diminished circumstances very well. No, sir; not at all.
Before y’all go getting out your crying towels, remember that some good may come of this sorry saga. As I’ve written previously, the Ali Forney Center, which serves homeless LGBT youths, is attempting to raise funds to buy Manning’s palace of Christian hatred.
Best of all, you can still toss a few bucks their way; I already have. It’s the Christian thing to do, don’tchaknow…even for this heathen nonbeliever.
I imagine we are going to hear a lot of ranting and raving from Rev Manning until the auction. And he has good cause to be ranting. The Ali Forney Center has been overwhelmed with support since we announced our bid to site a housing program for LGBT youth […]. I have no interest in birthing babies, only in providing safety for New York City’s homeless LGBT youth.
- Carl Siciliano
By now, you undoubtedly know there are few things in life I enjoy more than the union of karma and schadenfreude in holy matrimony…and in few cases is such a union more satisfying than seeing Pastor Manning’s house of vitriol and rage sold out from under him.
As of this writing, AFC was about 3/4 of the way to its $200,000 goal. My hope is that some good will come of a place that for so long was dedicated to hatred and homophobia in the name of Jesus Christ. Sure, I recognize that Manning is a Christian in the same way Jim Jones was a self-effacing saint who threw epic parties, but it’s hard not to celebrate the prospect of yet another hate merchant being put out of business.
The even more delicious irony is that a church dedicated to exclusion and intolerance and steeped in vitriol and homophobia may well be given a second life helping homeless LGBT youth.
Ah, irony; truly, thou art a fickle and vastly resourceful wench.
