WASHINGTON — Former price-gouging pharmaceutical company CEO Martin Shkreli asserted his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination at a congressional hearing Thursday, but still managed to convict himself of egregious douchebaggery in the court of public opinion. Shkreli, who was arrested in December on securities fraud charges, made himself infamous by dramatically hiking the price of a previously inexpensive antiparasitic drug often used to treat HIV patients. Testifying before [the House Oversight Committee] Thursday, he repeatedly invoked his right against self-incrimination, although he was not asked about his securities fraud case. Instead, Shkreli rolled his eyes and smirked at lawmakers. His disdain for the proceedings was especially apparent when the relentlessly earnest Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Md.), the top Democrat on the committee, tried to suggest that Shkreli use his notoriety and insider’s knowledge of the drug industry to help reform the system.
Full disclosure: I’m by no means a fan of Martin Shkreli, who could teach masters classes to sociopaths and assholes. Like most Americans, given half a chance, I’d bitch-slap him from here to St. Patrick’s Day. There just simply aren’t words in the English languages sufficient to adequately capturing and describing his epic, world-class douchebaggery. I’d like to think he has at least a few redeeming qualities…but if so, they’re exceedingly well-camouflaged.
Why am I writing about him, you ask? Call it vicarious pleasure (or sheepish admiration), I suppose. Despite being a thoroughly, utterly, and completely objectionable excuse for humanity, I have to admit to harboring a grudging respect for Shkreli after watching his performance before Congress. Not since Charlie Chaplin has a performance artist said so much without speaking a word.
Yeah, I get it; the man (and I’m using the term loosely) is a top-shelf, Grade A dick- a textbook sociopath with raging narcissistic personality disorder who apparent concern for others wouldn’t budge a needle. Still, watching him reduce Congressmen to fits of ire and barely comprehensible rage when they couldn’t bend Shkreli to their will was…entertaining and amusing.
Does that make me a bad person? ‘Cuz I gotta believe I’m not alone in my enjoying watch Congresscritters struggling to contain their impotent, bloviating rage.
Hard to accept that these imbeciles represent the people in our government.
— Martin Shkreli (@MartinShkreli) February 4, 2016
Things became so tense that Shkreli’s lawyer attempted to step in and claim something to the effect of “Oops…my client really means no disrespect”…when any rational observer could see disrespect was EXACTLY what he was serving up.
Yeah, right. Disrespect intended AND delivered. Game, set, match. Please pick up your contempt of Congress citation on your way out, Mr. Shkreli.
Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) was having none of it, venting his considerable frustration and impotence on Shkreli’s hired gun and essentially telling him to sit his Armani-suited ass down. Watching Chaffetz struggling to maintain his composure was worth the price of admission.
Shkreli lawyer says "a lot of what you saw was nervous energy and that Shkreli did not mean any disrepect. pic.twitter.com/4wiQTGN61S
— CNBC Now (@CNBCnow) February 4, 2016
Credit where credit is due: I should acknowledge Shkreli for being the creator and champion of something he just invented and I’ve just given a name to: Resting Dick Face ©.
Resting Dick Face © is not as easy as it appears. To be a total douchebag before Congress and on national television can be a daunting undertaking, and many have cracked under the rage of self-important Congresscritters convinced of their abject, unquestioned moral superiority. To fully employ Resting Dick Face ©, once must embrace one’s inner douchebag, and your give-a-fuck must be in the OFF position. It also helps to be a sociopath with narcissistic personality disorder and no apparent connection to, or concern for, other humans other than what they can do to benefit you.
I may have given Resting Dick Face © its name, but I can’t in good conscience endorse it…because to fully employ it and receive the benefits, one mustn’t give a damn about what anyone- and I do mean ANYONE- thinks about your antics.
‘Course, if you’re a douchebag and a sociopath with narcissistic personality disorder, you’re already closer than you think, Grasshopper.
