February 4, 2016 4:34 AM

Religion: The last refuge of (and business decision of) a scoundrel

Comedian turn genius journalist and fact-checking extraordinaire John Oliver…sat down with Jimmy Fallon on “The Tonight Show” to talk about the amazing success they had last season in which Oliver talked about everything from big pharma to big tobacco and started an actual church…. “It turns out that’s an amazingly easy thing to do,” Oliver said laughing. “With almost no legal consequences.” Oliver said that the experiment “got out of hand fast” talking about the six months the researchers on the show exchanged letters with a pastor’s “buy a prayer” style of business. But then Oliver dropped the bombshell: “We had $70,000 donated in singles. And that was just the top of a crazy iceberg. Someone sent us a four-foot wooden penis. Which, I did not ask for, Jimmy. I cannot stress that enough. At no point did I say, ‘please send a four-foot wooden penis or indeed three-foot or five-foot.”

Andy Rooney once said (paraphrasing Samuel Johnson) that religion is the last refuge of a scoundrel. When you consider the amount of money to be made from religion, you begin to understand why religion holds such appeal to scoundrels. Turns out all one needs to make a boatload of money is a lack of principles, a gift for acting, and a willingness to stick with the scam as long as it takes for the money to start rolling in. Oh…and did I mention that churches enjoy tax-exempt status? What self-respecting scoundrel would start a business and deal with the tax implications when all they need to do is open a church and separate fools from their cash?

If you think I’m kidding, look at Joel Osteen. I suspect that on some level Osteen truly believes himself to be chosen by God to fleece lead his flock in the pursuit of his brand of Prosperity Theology. How a “man of God” can credibly claim that leading services in a 15,000+ seat former NBA baskeball arena and living in a $10.5 million home in suburban Houston is serving the Lord is something I can’t begin to fathom. Nevertheless, Osteen has the con and the schtick down to an art form.

If a comedian can start a church and pull in $70,000 (and a four-foot wooden penis) without really trying, just imagine what someone with a plan- like Joel Osteen, f’rinstance- can do?

It would seem I’m in the wrong damn line of work.

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on February 4, 2016 4:34 AM.

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