Unless you're a masochist. Then yes, maternity is a 'break' like #meternity . A messy, bloody, poopy, sleep deprived vacation.
— Sheila Nagig (@TheSheilaNagig) April 30, 2016
The dungbomb we’re talking about today, however, isn’t a weird carbonated drink but a new workplace leave concept: “me-ternity leave.”…. It is the brainchild of Meghann Foye, a former editor for Redbookmag.com and Seventeen magazine who’s written a novel by that name about a woman who fakes a pregnancy to get a break from the office. The term “me-ternity leave,” if you parse Foye’s unfortunate statements, apparently just means a paid sabbatical from work, time off that is longer than a vacation. Who wouldn’t like that? We could all use an extended break to recharge and avoid burning out. College professors have long enjoyed sabbaticals, and a number of enlightened companies offer them as a perk. But Foye made the disastrous mistake of linking this concept up with maternity leave, telling the New York Post last week that she wanted all the “perks” of maternity leave without having a baby. Of course, the mothers of the Internet went nuts.
There are few things I’d rather avoid than the collective wrath of mothers on the Internet. I know more than a few mothers of newborns and small children, and as much as I admire their commitment to motherhood, I wouldn’t trade places for all the tiramisu in Tuscany. Nor would I presume to equate their journey and struggle with anything I may be experiencing in my own life. Why would I, when you consider the backlash the intrepid Ms. Foye has experienced with her “me-ternity leave” idea?
Sounds like it might be time for someone to offer a heartfelt, since mea culpa, no?
Since when is maternity leave a sabbatical in any shape, manner, or form? Most new mothers I know bounce back and forth between harried and just plain exhausted; who in their right mind would think that equivalent to a sabbatical? To put forward the idea for “me-ternity leave” in an effort to ensure equality of treatment seems a wee bit on the clueless side, don’tchathink??
After the #Meternity backlash, what if Meghann Foye's next book is about building a new you through the Witness Protection Program?
— Beth Markley (@bethmarkley) April 30, 2016
It’s hard to believe that Foye, a longtime women’s magazine editor, didn’t see the backlash coming. A representative for Foye said she didn’t have time to respond to HuffPost’s questions about her concept.
The Internet freakout was so harsh that Foye then wrote another piece for the Post defending her position. “Now I do think of meternity as a sabbatical — a time off to take stock, pause and figure out if what we are doing in our lives is working for us,” she wrote. “I’m not saying maternity leave is a sabbatical.”
Wow. Sometimes you just have to stop digging, knowhutimean?? Accept that you may well have come down on the wrong side of an issue, issue a few contrite mea culpas, and hope the shitstorm blows over before it buries you. You’d think someone who’s been an editor for women’s magazines would understand the futility- and offensiveness- of equating maternity leave to a sabbatical. I’m a guy, and even I get that giving birth to a child is in no way a ticket to Mai-Tais by the pool and abundant opportunities for relaxation and self-reflection.
It’s not a case of being treated differently from new mothers. It’s not as if maternity leave is like an extended Spring Break and all about fun, relaxation, and “me time.” It’s an opportunity for a new mother to bond with her child, recover from childbirth, and get used to having responsibility for an ambulatory bodily fluid factory set to go off at unpredictable intervals. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sound like much of a sabbatical. I respect mothers, if for no other reason than they’ve made the decision to accept a responsibility I would never dream of subjecting myself to. It’s why I chose early on to have all my children vicariously.
Maternity leave isn’t about self-reflection, preventing burnout, or setting boundaries between your work and personal life. It’s hardly a vacation, at least in the sense that you’re not going to fun places and/or crossing items off your bucket list. Having a baby means adapting to a new set of responsibilities and learning how to add one more ball to the collection women keep in the air at all times.
That’s a sabbatical??
