June 6, 2016 7:41 AM

Why the Internet makes us terrible people

I came across a Facebook post that set me to thinking about how the Internet has made it so much easier for humanity to tear others down instead of finding ways to build them up. This post was by a local restaurateur who frequents other local eating establishments and then posts pictures and reviews of the food. Being in the business himself, he’s sensitive to the realities of food service- sometimes you just catch a restaurant or food cart on a bad day. If his initial sojourn was less than positive, he’ll go back at another time to check his experience against what previously transpired. I admire the sense of fairness displayed by this extra effort. Too many would allow their initial experience to define that establishment, forever and ever, Amen.

I found the comments interesting. They seemed to speak to a default attitude that once was enough, and that a bad experience was enough to assume the worst of an eating establishment and tar them accordingly. I was struck by how blithely some were willing to write off what might just be the culmination of a person’s dream. There are so many variables that go into delivering a high-quality food service experience (full disclosure: I put myself through my last year of college waiting tables). If one link in the chain breaks it can ruin the entire experience, no matter how positive the rest of the meal may have been. That’s by no means conclusive proof the eating establishment in question is bad, inept, incompetent, or serves substandard food. It may be that they were having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day- a cook quit, a server left in mid-shift, or perhaps that day’s produce delivery was of poor quality. Running an eating establishment is an exercise in simultaneously keeping several ball in the air; drop one and the rest will soon follow. Too many people pass judgment based on one experience. If it’s not a good one, that eating establishment is passed off as unworthy and substandard…when it truthfully may be anything but.

There’s a Mexican restaurant a few blocks from where Erin and I live. When we first moved into our new house, we walked down there for dinner to celebrate. The service was slow, one of our dishes was undercooked- so much so that not the fabulous margaritas didn’t make up for the faux pas. Before we left, I noticed a sign on the wall with the owner’s email address. The sign asked diners to email him regarding their dining experience…and so I did. I relayed our experience and disappointment, explaining that it had been magnified because Erin and I were celebrating moving into our new house.

I soon received a call from the owner, who listened to my concerns and apologized profusely. He offered to make up for our poor experience by buying us dinner, which seemed fair- and an opportunity to give his restaurant a second chance. Not surprisingly, our second visit was infinitely superior to the first. None of the staff knew of my original complaint until I pulled out the gift certificate at the end of the meal, so we knew they hadn’t been laying it on thick for us.

The great thing about our experience was that the owner took my concerns seriously, apologized sincerely, and offered to make it right. Our return proved our first experience to be an aberration, and we’ve returned several times since with excellent results. Now I can- and do- recommend Cha! Cha! Cha! highly to my friends…something I might not have done if the opportunity to give them a second chance hadn’t arisen.

Most of us want a second chance when we mess up or fall short of expectations…yet it so often happens that we’re reluctant to provide an opportunity for a do-over to others. Our standards are high (which is good) and unforgiving (which isn’t)…even as we hope for leniency and forbearance. The Internet allows us the freedom to destroy others while we expect and believe those same exacting standards shouldn’t be applied to us.

Double standard? What double standard??

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on June 6, 2016 7:41 AM.

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