Hey, how about a story tagged “Syrian refugees” and “Idaho” that doesn’t have a single darn militia idiot anywhere in it? Weird but true, and probably a far better reflection of the reality of refugee life in [the] strange little red state than the terrible stories you’ve heard, because as the little German girl said, “people are basically good.”…. Boise Teevee station KIVI ran a profile Thursday of Shadi Ismail, 29, that nice gent up top hugging his BF. Mr. Ismail left Syria a while back because his own family wanted to kill him for being gay. This is where we’ll remind our own religious extremists that the United States of America is a place where people seek asylum because religious extremists want them dead, so that should tell you a little something about what really makes us Exceptional.
It’s often been said (by me) that it’s not important whom or how you love; it’s only important that you do love. Turns out it’s of no importance or consequence WHERE you love…even if you’re a gay Syrian refugee who’s thrilled beyond belief to be in, of all place, Boise, ID.
Perspective is everything…and if you’ve been living in a place where you’ve legitimately feared your own family would kill you if they were to learn you’re gay, I suspect Boise probably looks like something damned closed to Paradise on Earth.
I don’t know about you, but if I was looking for love and acceptance and the ability to be who I am without fear, Boise isn’t the first place that would leap to mind. For Ismail, though, being in a place- any place- where he need not live in mortal fear probably feels as if he’s landed in Heaven.
After being in Paradise- er, Boise- for three years now, what’s the biggest difference between Idaho and Syria Ismail’s noticed? A pretty simple difference that means everything.
“Being dead versus being alive,” Shadi said.
“I didn’t used to trust people. I was dying every day, lying every day, hiding myself every day, scared every day,” Shadi said. “What if anyone finds out I’m gay? Like before. They found out I was gay at work and they kicked me out after being there for three years; but [in Boise] I go to work happy, I’m being myself, everybody at work knows I’m gay and they love me. They don’t care.”
If you’re thinking it’s odd that you’d hear “Boise,” “everyone knows at work knows I’m gay,” and “they love me” in the same sentence, you’re not alone. Idaho, about as red as a red state could possibly hope to be, isn’t a place known for welcoming those who are “different” with open arms. Yet that’s exactly what’s happened to Ismail, which is a wonderful commentary on the people of Boise and the potential for human kindness. Despite living in a place renowned for being narrow, intolerant, homophobic, and xenophobic, Boise appears to have not only welcomed Ismail but made him feel as if he belongs, as if he’s one of them…and they should be commended for that.
One of his favorite stories to tell is of a woman he met on his first day heading into downtown Boise. Determined to learn the transportation system and make it on his own, Shadi headed down Curtis Street on his bicycle from the refugee resettlement group, and made it to 13th Street before realizing he was lost. He was scared to talk to a stranger for fear of being beaten, but he stopped a woman and showed her the map of where he was trying to go.
“She looked, and she grabbed my hand and walked with me across the street to where I was going and said, ‘See this door? Good luck!’” Shadi explained. “And this was my first impression and first feeling about Boise and I just thought, ‘God, I love this city.’”
So now Ismail has a good job, a great living situation, and feels like a part of the community. Given the situation he escaped in Syria, to be able to find love and acceptance must feel like…well, I can’t even imagine what they must feel like to him. How many of us can say we’ve come close to walking even a few yards in his shoes?
Every now and again, it’s good to be reminded that good and decent people really are the true silent majority. Yes, the haters, bigots, and homophobes make a lot of noise, but their numbers don’t match their volume or virulence. The Sturm und Drang can make it difficult to remember that quiet, nondemonstrative majority of people really are pretty good with “live and let live.”
It’s easy to hate gays, immigrants, or [insert name of despised minority class here]…until you actually meet someone in one of these groups and begin to see that as just another person trying to make their way in the world. Despite the thing(s) one may hate about a group of people, they are, in fact, people like you and me, trying to carve out a life and provide for their families.
Even in Boise.
