So far we’ve been lucky— every time the zombie apocalypse starts, it runs into a Tea Party rally and starves to death.— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) March 10, 2014
Former congressman Allen West is furious about the announcement of new defense budget cuts, calling them “unconscionable” and part of “Barack Obama’s game plan to weaken the United States of America.”…. In an interview with the American Family Association’s Sandy Rios today, West called defense secretary Chuck Hagel a “turncoat” and a “traitor to the men and women in uniform.”…. The Tea Party leader told Rios that the Obama administration wants to intentionally harm military service members and their families because they are “not their constituency.”…. “Their constituency is basically the welfare nanny state, their constituency are the people who they can get hooked on government largesse, their constituency is the growing poverty class and also the growing food stamp class,” West said.
I always love listening to Conservatives carry on at some length and volume about how committed they are to shrinking government. Government spending, to their way of thinking, is Of The Devil; therefore the less of it there is the better off America will be. This means no social program is safe, whether education, health care, or other social service programs. We all have to make sacrifices, the argument goes, and so we have sometimes have to make uncomfortable choices…with one notable exception. No, it’s not subsidies for the 1% and Big Business, though those are certainly worthy subjects best left for another time.
I’m talking about military spending, and no Conservative Congresscritter worth their bona fides would ever even consider cutting outlays for defense. I mean, who loves America more than a Red Meat Conservative, right? Unfortunately, this self-professed love for and devotion to our military can make discussing changes, cuts, or reforms virtually impossible. Welcome to the wacky world of Allen West, the former Tea Party Congressman from Floriduh and a former Army officer who served in Iraq. (A little background for perspective: West was cashiered for discharging a pistol next to an Iraqi detainee’s head during an interrogation session. I know; it’s SO difficult to find acceptable ways to intimidate evildoers these days, amiright??) That, in his estimation at least, makes him an expert on all things military.
West, being the confirmed patriot he is, has his panties in a wad over Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel’s proposed staffing and budgets cuts. Now that we’re no longer at war in two theaters halfway around the world, a reasonable person might think it a good time to reconsider and perhaps reorder our military priorities. Not Allen West, for whom even the suggestion of change borders on treason.
Then again, West seems to believe that virtually anything Barack Obama does is an impeachable offense.
Ukraine is planning to march large numbers of gay men into Crimea in hopes of scaring off Russian soldiers currently occupying the territory.
According to local reports this “gay army” will be unarmed and its mission will be to act as flamboyantly homosexual as possible, causing the deeply prejudiced occupying force to flee back to its homeland.
“Russia is one of the most homophobic nations on Earth,” says Ukrainian defense minister Boris Grishenko. “We’re planning to use that fact to our advantage and take back our land.
“Ukraine is a small country. We don’t have a lot of tanks or battleships. And we stupidly gave up our nuclear weapons in the 1990’s. But we still have plenty of gays, and if there’s one thing Russians fear more than atomic warfare it’s explicit displays of homosexuality.
“It will start small. Just a simple parade with a few hundred shirtless men. But once the Lady Gaga starts blasting, things are gonna get wild. Hopefully all the pumping, grinding and gyrating will have them headed for the hills.”
Technology can truly be a wondrous thing to behold. The things machines can do for us today stagger the imagination…at least my limited imagination, anyway. The things I’m able to do with my smart phone or laptop never cease to amaze me. My grandmother in northern Minnesota lived in a house with an old hand-crank telephone on a party line. Yeah, we’ve come a long way, baby.
And then there are those “WTF???” moments when you realize that so much of what technology produces is based on the GIGO principle- garbage in, garbage out. This story exceeds even that standard…and I can’t even begin to imagine where it came from.
Old, white, wrinkled and angry, they are slipping from polite society in alarming numbers. We’re losing much of a generation. They often sport hats or other clothing, some marking their status as veterans, Tea Partyers or “patriots” of some kind or another. They have yellow flags, bumper stickers and an unquenchable rage. They used to be the brave men and women who took on America’s challenges, tackling the ’60s, the Cold War and the Reagan years — but now many are terrified by the idea of slightly more affordable healthcare and a very moderate Democrat in the White House. We’re losing people like my father to the despair of Fox News, and it’s all by design.
Many a time during a previous career iteration, I can remember sitting in a body shop, waiting for the manager to grace me with an audience. Often the shop’s audio system would be tuned to a radio station spewing forth the voice of Rush Limbaugh. I wanted to be horrified and offended (and on the inside I was), but I reminded myself that I was on the Texas Gulf Coast and I was the “enemy,” at least in ideological terms.
It never seemed to occur to anyone to question what Limbaugh was saying or how he sourced his information. What Limbaugh said was accepted as Gospel; he was the information source of choice. I can’t tell you how many discussions I had with people who’d swallowed his version of the truth whole and without question. If Rush said it, it was true, and to question it was to disrespect their beliefs. I found myself wondering how seemingly good, reasonably intelligent sorts could so blithely embrace such hateful propaganda?
What I learned before too much longer was that it’s far easier to preach negatives- fear, anger, hatred- than positives. For whatever reason, some people find it easier to believe the worst than assume the best. Perhaps it’s the doughnut-or-hole conundrum, but it does seem that a large chunk of the American Sheeple have been conditioned to see the hole while the doughnut remains invisible. That’s probably the best explanation for the popularity of Fox News Channel, and it’s consumed the minds and prejudices of an entire generation.
Michele Bachmann kicked off today’s program at CPAC by explaining that the Tea Party is “at its core is an intellectual movement.” It was only fitting then that Sarah Palin ended CPAC by reading her own version of “Green Eggs and Ham.”
“Dr. Seuss, who’d have thunk? Who’d have thunk?” Palin said about Ted Cruz’s use of “Green Eggs and Ham” during his fake filibuster against Obamacare.
She ended the reading of her own version of the Dr. Seuss story by saying: “hat tip the internet!”
I do not like this Uncle Sam, I do not like his health care scam;
I do not like these dirty crooks or how they lie and cook the books;
I do not like when Congress steals, I do not like their crony deals;
I do not like this buy-in man, I do not like ‘oh yes we can’;
I do not like this spending spree, we’re smart, we know there’s nothing free;
I do not like reporters’ smug replies when I complain about their lies;
I do not like this kind of hope and we won’t take it ‘nope, nope, nope’