What Would Jack Do

PARIS — An essayist popular among French nationalists and on the political far right killed himself near the altar of the Cathedral of Notre-Dame here on Tuesday afternoon, authorities said. The man, identified as Dominique Venner, 78, left a letter “addressed to investigators” in the cathedral before shooting himself in the head, Msgr. Patrick Jacquin, the rector, told France Info radio. Officials offered no details about the letter’s contents, but Mr. Venner published a blog post on Tuesday in which he denounced the passage of a “vile” new law opening marriage rights to same-sex couples and warned of an imminent takeover of France by “Islamists.”…. “New, spectacular and symbolic gestures will surely be needed to rattle the somnolent, shake anesthetized consciences and reawaken the memory of our origins,” Mr. Venner wrote. He added, “It is in deciding by oneself, in truly desiring one’s fate that one is triumphant over the void.”

The debate over same-sex marriage and gay rights may be hot and heavy in this country, but if you REALLY want to dial up the vitriol and bigotry, try going to France, where same-sex marriage was just legalized there. A small but vocal (and by no means nonviolent) minority has been pitching quite a fit, and they’ve been far meaner and more vitriolic than homophobes here in the U.S. Listen to them long enough and, if you went by their passion and wingnuttery, if they were speaking English you’d think you were listening to gun nuts in this country.

How silly and over the top has the French anti-gay minority become? Well, how about enough to begin committing suicide over the issue? A Right-wing nationalist writer shot himself in the head (in the Cathedral of Notre-Dame, no less), evidently in what he thought was an effective protest strategy. Personally, I would have gone with self-immolation, but to each his own, eh?

What’s next? A Catholic priest taking a gasoline bath and setting himself on fire at the Arc d’ Triomphe?? So much for French civility and tolerance, eh? Something that most Americans don’t know about France is that it has one of the most racist and bigoted populations in Europe. There’s a truly dark and ugly side to one of the world’s most revered cultures.

What was truly pathetic about Dominique Venner’s suicide- besides it’s utter, senseless futility- was the callous reaction of those on the French Far Right like Marine Le Pen, who ‘hailed Mr. Venner’s suicide as an “eminently political” gesture meant to “wake up the people of France.”’ What’s next? Anti-gay nationalists blowing up buses or walking into a cafe wearing an explosive vest? If your blind hatred drives you to commit suicide as a means of political protest, don’t you think the world’s better off without you? From where I sit, I’d have to say without reservation that the world’s a better place without you around to pollute it.

Good riddance.

Rep. Trent Franks, Republican of Arizona, joined Family Research Council president Tony Perkins and anti-choice activist Lila Rose on an FRC webcast yesterday on “exposing America’s late-term abortion industry.” Franks, who recently introduced a bill that would institute a national ban on the rare practice of abortion after 20 weeks, compared his fight against reproductive rights to the ending of the Holocaust and the abolition of slavery. “We are the ones that rushed into Eastern Europe and arrested the Holocaust, we are the ones that said no more to slavery after thousands of years, and by the grace of God, we’re going to be the ones that say that we’re going to protect our own children,” he said.

When Perkins asked him to elaborate on the stakes of his bill, Franks answered that if it fails, “I would suggest to you that we undermine everything that America was ever dreamed of to be and we step into that Sumerian night where the light of compassion has gone out and the survival of the fittest finally prevails over man…If we turn our backs on this, I’m afraid we’ve broken the back of what America really is.”

• Right Wing Watch

“There’s no question we could make more money if we packed up and went to China like our competitors,” says Chad Braverman, 30, Doc Johnson’s COO, as we walk by the vein station, where workers with small, precise brushes apply spidery red and blue lines to the rubber shafts. Doc Johnson is not immune from the benefit of cheap outsourced labor: It contracts with a Chinese manufacturer to produce 25% of the rubber products and motors for Doc Johnson items. I ask Braverman if, as time goes on, he would consider increasing that percentage. “No,” he says. “I remain committed to our current ratio. We think it’s important to stay loyal to the country and values that allow this kind of product and manufacturing to take place.” While Doc Johnson’s products are not luxury items, its American workforce does result in a hike in retail prices; Braverman says that price increase reflects “quality.”

Yeah, I know; this is supposed to be a family show and SFW. Every now and again, though,I like to go off the rails, especially when I run across a good story, something that makes one proud to be an American. And what could be more American than a dildo factory? For some reason, I found myself thinking, “Hmm…I wonder where those things come from?” Turns out that dildos are one of the few things that we still make in this country. Yes, there’s a market for oversized rubber penises…and in true capitalistic fashion there’s an American company willing, ready, and able to meet the demand.

Of course, working in a dildo factory is not like working in virtually any other sort of factory. When you spend your days surrounded by a surfeit of rubber phalluses, what happens when you see the real thing (which is generally considerably smaller)? And how do you explain what you do for a living? I mean, something as simple as updating your resume must present some real challenges, knowhutimean?

I instituted and supervised a program that resulted in a 24% reduction in defective dildos….

I created and conducted Dildo World’s aggressive, hands-on quality control process….

Thank God America still makes quality products that provide work for good, God-fearing, patriotic Americans. Sure, they’re producing a product generally only used in the privacy of one’s boudoir, but Chad Braverman is proving that America still works and he’s keeping the work here at home. As long as Americans go home alone at night, there will be an American company willing to help fill that hole…and not just figuratively speaking.

Remember, no matter how much you think your job sucks, at least you don’t spend your days surrounded by dicks.

Stay hard, America!

Denton police said an 8-year-old boy accidentally shot his 5-year-old friend in the head with a .22-caliber rifle on Saturday morning.

It happened while the two boys were in a bedroom alone at a home in 2700 block of Stockton Street in Denton.

Officers said two adults and one teenager were also inside the house when the shooting happened at about 11:30 a.m. on Saturday.

The 5-year-old boy was transported to Denton Regional Medical Center, then flown by Careflight to Children’s Medical Center in Dallas.

As of Monday morning, the 5-year-old remained in the hospital.

UPDATE: Denton police say they have no filed charges but there is still an open investigation. Police could refer the case to a grand jury when the investigation is complete.

• NBCDFW.com

UPDATE: He didn’t make it.