The fear of every parent is having to bury a child. That tragedy is compounded when a child takes his or her own life. Diagnosing and treating the depression that lead up to suicide can be a tough call in any case, but particularly for a young person.
Students kill themselves at all times of year, but attempted suicides — which fail owing to luck, ambivalence or good medicine — begin to go up in the fall, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Often the immediate cause seems to be a recent rejection, disappointment or academic failure.
Trying to determine whether a young person is suicidal can be difficult. Even trained mental-health professionals have made mistakes. But there are warning signs you can watch for in friends and loved ones that may signal more than just a simple case of the blues, such as withdrawing from all social activities, dramatic changes in personality or demeanor — including suddenly becoming much happier or calmer — significant shifts in sleeping or eating habits and giving away cherished personal items.
Don't get fooled into thinking that all people who commit suicide have carefully worked out a plan in advance. Studies of suicide survivors, says Thomas Simon, a behavioral scientist at the Centers for Disease Control, show that often just five minutes elapse from the time someone thinks about committing suicide until the actual attempt. This sometimes impulsive nature of the act is often facilitated by drinking alcohol.
Finally, it is O.K. to come right out and ask friends or family members whether they are thinking of suicide. You won't be giving them any ideas. Be sure to let them know that they are not alone and that help is available through school counselors and mental-health hot lines, in hospitals and now online.
I suppose this hits home for me because I had planned out a scenario under which I would have committed suicide on my 21st birthday. It was a time in my life when nothing seemed to fit- I was isolated from my family, college work felt overwhelming, and life just wasn't any fun. Fortunately, events and friends intervened, and my birthday passed without incident. I've never forgotten that time, though, and my hope is that someone, somewhere will recognize a young person struggling to keep things together and get them to the help they need. I'm living proof that life is worth living, no matter how bleak things may seem to be.
