Many a night I've lain awake in bed, wondering if I'd ever been abducted by aliens. Now there is a website for those who are concerned enough to do something about the problem.
THIS WEBSITE TELLS YOU HOW TO MAKE A THOUGHT SCREEN HELMET, THE MATERIALS AND TOOLS YOU NEED TO MAKE ONE, AND WHERE YOU CAN OBTAIN THE MATERIALS
The thought screen helmet blocks telepathic communication between aliens and humans. Aliens cannot immobilize people wearing thought screens nor can they control their minds or communicate with them.
Results of the thought screen helmet exceeded expectations. Since January 2000 aliens have not taken any abductees while they were wearing thought screen helmets using Velostat shielding. See Case Histories and Testimonials.
The thought screen helmet was invented by Michael Menkin in 1998 and named after the thought screens that were described by science fiction writer Edward Elmer Smith Ph.D. in the Gray Lensman novels.
Other shielding material was tried in previous models with less success. Do not substitute the Velostat shielding with other materials. The Velostat made by 3M works!
You can make a thought screen helmet for $35.
Well, I missed this Christmas, but I certainly know what I'm going to be asking for NEXT year. I imagine that the thought screen helmets will be standard issue at the next Texas Republican Party convention. Certainly those Wingnuts will be able to appreciate the beauty and understated simplicity of the thought screen helmet.
Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the voices in your head?- U2, "One"
Now, if I could just find me one of them anal probe deflectors....
