April 9, 2003 5:20 AM

93?? He's almost old enough to be Pope....

When Vitaly Oustinow, leader of the Russian Orthodox Church Outside of Russia, retired in 2001, he quickly became disenchanted with his replacement, Metropolitan Laurus--so he moved from New York to Canada and started a new church called the Russian Orthodox Church in Exile. Church officials decided he must be senile--he's 93--so they told a New York court that, in fact, Oustinow had been kidnapped from New York, spirited away to Canada by people working against the church, and that they should be awarded custody of him because he has a psychiatric ailment and needs to be institutionalized in a nursing home. Supreme Court Justice Phyllis Gangel-Jacob examined the evidence, decided Oustinow is sharp as a tack, and expressed the opinion that the real battle was over "control of church property." She dismissed the action, leaving Oustinow free to pad around Canada in his house slippers, granting absolution.

- Joe Bob Briggs

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This page contains a single entry by Jack Cluth published on April 9, 2003 5:20 AM.

Keeping those pesky allies in line was the previous entry in this blog.

A trip down the rabbit hole, Part Deux is the next entry in this blog.

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