Web Site for Iraqi Minister Rocks Cyberspace
The war against Iraq has been a horrifying and brutal spectacle, but it hasn't been totally devoid of levity. Who will ever forget the now suddenly seemingly non-existent Iraqi Minister of Information, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf? Though apparently deadly serious about his straight-out-of-the-Twilight-Zone pronouncements, al-Sahaf in the end was an island of mirth in a sea of death and destruction.
Television news junkies transfixed by daily briefings by Iraqi Minister of Information Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf are now logging onto a day-old Web site featuring his finest invective against U.S. and British "infidels."The site, (http:/www.WeLoveTheIraqiInformationMinister.com), is a "coalition effort of bloodthirsty hawks and ineffectual doves" united in their admiration for al-Sahaf and his pronouncements, such as: "I now inform you that you are too far from reality."
Among al-Sahaf's now-famous declarations was: "There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"
Writer and former Greenpeace activist Kieran Mulvaney, a Briton living in Alaska, said he and friends got the idea for the site while watching cable news coverage of the three-week-old war.
"I mentioned to one of my friends that the best part is watching this guy," Mulvaney told Reuters on Thursday. "He is so brazen that I could almost admire him."
Mulvaney and his friends designed, built and put up the site in three days. Within hours of going live on the Internet, the site "has exploded," Mulvaney said. The same day, U.S. troops marched into Baghdad and al-Sahaf disappeared, or in the view of his new Web site, went on "administrative leave."
Many of us hope that al-Sahaf will soon reappear from his unscheduled "administrative leave". If nothing else, he demonstrated himself to be the only member of the old regime to have anything resembling a sense of humor.
Some of his finer moments:
"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"
"My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all"
"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"
"I blame Al-Jazeera - they are marketing for the Americans!"
"God will roast their stomachs in hell at the hands of Iraqis."
"We have destroyed 2 tanks, fighter planes, 2 helicopters and their shovels - We have driven them back."
"They're coming to surrender or be burned in their tanks."
"No I am not scared and neither should you be!"
"We are not afraid of the Americans. Allah has condemned them. They are stupid. They are stupid" (dramatic pause) "and they are condemned."
"The authority of the civil defense ... issued a warning to the civilian population not to pick up any of those pencils because they are booby traps," he said, adding that the British and American forces were "immoral mercenaries" and "war criminals" for such behavior.
"I am not talking about the American people and the British people," he said. "I am talking about those mercenaries. ... They have started throwing those pencils, but they are not pencils, they are booby traps to kill the children.""We have them surrounded in their tanks"
"The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"
"Lying is forbidden in Iraq. President Saddam Hussein will tolerate nothing but truthfulness as he is a man of great honor and integrity. Everyone is encouraged to speak freely of the truths evidenced in their eyes and hearts."
"because we will behead you all"
"Let the American infidels bask in their illusion"
"I triple guarantee you, there are no American soldiers in Baghdad."
Britain "is not worth an old shoe"
"we have given them a sour taste"
Of US troops: "They are most welcome. We will butcher them."
"We will welcome them with bullets and shoes."
"We are in control. They are in a state of hysteria. Losers, they think that by killing civilians and trying to distort the feelings of the people they will win. I think they will not win, those bastards."
“We have placed them in a quagmire from which they can never emerge except dead”
"Washington has thrown their soldiers on the fire"
"I speak better English than this villain Bush"
"These cowards have no morals. They have no shame about lying"
"They're not even [within] 100 miles [of Baghdad]. They are not in any
place. They hold no place in Iraq. This is an illusion ... they are
trying to sell to the others an illusion.""Their failure in this regard is abysmal. They want to tell the world changes thought - as a matter of fact, they do not respect the world, they want to tell taxpayers and the domestic public to keep them deceived sentence incomplete as heard. We will embroil them, confuse them and keep them in the quagmire. They have begun to tell more lies so that they might continue with the perpetration of their crimes. May they be accursed."
"We will kill them all........most of them."
"They are like a snake and we are going to cut it in pieces."
"They do not even have control over themselves! Do not believe them!"
Called Americans and Brits "Tarateer"– In Iraqi slang, Tartoor means a guy full of farts (hot air)
"they are nowhere near the airport ..they are lost in the desert...they can not read a compass...they are retarded."
"Faltering forces of infidels cannot just enter a country of 26 million people and lay besiege to them! They are the ones who will find themselves under siege. Therefore, in reality whatever this miserable Rumsfeld has been saying, he was talking about his own forces. Now even the American command is under siege."
Ah, Mohammed, we hardly knew ye....
