Police will reroute traffic for doughnuts
You would expect that traffic would be re-routed if, say, the President were in town. You might even expect it if there were an important civic celebration- like a Fourth of July parade, f'rinstance. But the Grand Opening of a Krispy Kreme donut shop??
BEAVERTON -- Police have a plan to deal with traffic jams for jelly donuts.
They expect traffic to snarl Tuesday when a new Krispy Kreme doughnut store opens at 16415 N.W. Cornell Road. To avoid problems like those at other newly opened shops, Beaverton police will close the road to through traffic between Northwest Twin Oaks Drive and 167th Place.
Traffic on Cornell will shut at 12:30 a.m. Tuesday -- five hours before the first customer is fed.
The only traffic allowed on Cornell will be law enforcement and people in line to get doughnuts. Others, including employees and customers of other businesses in the area, will be routed around the restricted area.
Krispy Kreme will reimburse the city for overtime costs associated with the traffic control plan, Beaverton police spokesman Officer Mark Hyde said.
"We know this will be an inconvenience for some motorists and businesses in the area," Beaverton police Chief David G. Bishop said. "We believe that a proactive traffic plan is better than a reactive plan after the fact."
The openings of other Northwest outlets have brought traffic to a standstill.
At the Portland area's first Krispy Kreme at 9950 S.E. 82nd Ave. in Clackamas, customers camped out overnight to be first in line for the June 29 opening.
When the first store opened in Washington state, people camped outside the Issaquah outlet the afternoon before the early morning grand opening.
Traffic near the 82nd Avenue outlet returned to normal about a week after the opening, said Deputy Angela Brandenburg, spokeswoman for the Clackamas County sheriff.
Cornell in Beaverton will remain closed for at least a week, Hyde said.
Jeez, kinda makes you wonder what the Beaverton PD would do if a new Starbucks location were to open, doesn't it? O, the pandemonium! O, the humanity!!
I can make fun of the Beaverton PD in part because I lived in that bucolic suburb of Portland for many years. Still, it is tough to miss the symmetry in this scenario. Police shutting down traffic for the opening of a donut shop? Sometimes, the jokes...well, they just about write themselves, eh? Enjoy your DUMASS AWARD, guys; and remember to leave me a couple jelly donuts, willya??
