EU Declares Bush "Genetically Modified Organism" (via Madeleine Kane)
I think these folks may be on to something here....
In a move sure to increase an already bitter transatlantic trade row, the European parliament today voted to declare American president George W. Bush a genetically modified organism, thus requiring him to be labeled conspicuously as such when traveling anywhere within the European Union. "His bizarre admixture of personality traits, from the infantile belligerence and pinheaded parochialism to the almost medieval religious zealotry, could not possibly have come about as the result of the ordinary processes of natural selection," according to an EU scientific study obtained by the Brains Trust. "We are forced to conclude that a deliberate and indeed malignant agency has tampered with the subject's genetic code," the report stated. A high-ranking American trade official denounced the parliamentary vote as "another example of the EU's rank protectionism," and "a desperate bid to bar the import of charisma to the continent." "It's quite clear that European women find George Bush much more attractive than the sorry lot running most of the old world," the official asserted, adding "I mean, when's the last time Jacques Chirac got any without paying for it?" Some scientists also disagree with the EU report's conclusion. "It is quite possible that President Bush is simply a vaguely grotesque but perfectly natural evolutionary dead-end, like the wombat or the Conservative Party," said Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush, director of the Institute for Annoying Persons Studies at Cambridge University.
"The import of charisma"?? This has got to be the first time I've see Shrub and charisma mentioned in the same sentence....
