Consumerism in Baby Names, or Dipsticks On Parade
Truly, the depths of human stupidity knows no floor, and this evidence is as solid as anything I could come up with on my own. What would possibly possess a prospective parent to name their child after a consumer product? (On November 1st, John and Mary Futzengarber welcomed their newest addition, Monistat A-1 Futzengarber....)
Susan and I sat down and put together our own list, which we humbly offer to prospective parents. To wit:
- Vagisil
- Trojan
- Viagra
- Purina
- Starbuck
- Kraft
- Hormel
- Spam
- Charmin
- Hershey
- ExLax
- Heineken
- Coors
- Colgate
- Snuggle
- Pillsbury
- Pringle
- Splenda
- CoolWhip
- Kaopectate
OK, I think we've made our point here...and we won't even charge any prospective parents who avail themselves of our list- because frankly, you're a dumbass if you do. You've already got enough of a handicap without having to pay us a royalty.
