Yes, my friends, I have seen the light. I have discovered the true power behind the Internet, the engine that drives the Information Superhighway, the Alpha behind the Omega. I have discovered the power of...SEX. Yes, it is true, I have glimpsed the Dark Side, and well, it appears that it's been pretty good to me- not that I really set out to do it quite like this.
Over the past few days, I have discovered after two-plus years of flailing away in the Wilderness (if such a thing can exist on the Internet), the tremendous power of naked pictures of celebrities and pseudo-celebrities. A couple days ago, I wrote about Sharon Smith, the mayor of Houston, BC, an otherwise obscure small town in the Canadian woods (well, it IS the home of the World's Largest Fly Fishing Rod). Of course, Mrs. Smith's claim to fame (or infamy, depending on your viewpoint) was allowing her husband to photograph her in her office, wearing the chain of office- and nothing else.
Of course, I didn't actually post the photo of the naked Mayor Smith, but I have now become the darling of many out there with WAY too time on their hands and the desire to see a photo of a naked 48-year-old mother of three. Yes, it is true, if you're looking for naked photos of Sharon Smith, Paris Hilton's homemade sex videos, or the video of Britney Spears doing the Oakland Raiders secondary, you won't find them here. Of course, that's not going to stop Google from directing people my way.
Jeez, and you couldn't love me for my witty repartee, by incisive opinions, and/or my brilliant writing???
In tomorrow's issue: Madonna uses her new children's book to attract young lovers, Pink and Tommy Lee doing "the nasty" in the men's room at a New York nightclub, and the things Paris Hilton does with farm animals on her new reality series....
