Phony Hiltons buy plenty of pizza
It would seem that you can learn about American culture from a pizza delivery guy:
- "Paris Hilton" is the #1 fake name used by people ordering pizzas for delivery. Hmm...maybe that free video offer WAS a good idea....
- "John Ashcroft" is #2. You know, it DOES look like he's put on a few pounds since he was appointed High Priest and Chief Executioner.
- People who answer their door in the nude tip better than those who keep their clothes on. Hey, I KNOW what you're thinking, and it's NOT gonna happen, 'kay???
- People with "Dean for President" bumper stickers on their cars tip MUCH better than people with "Bush for President" on their cars. Hmm...I know there is a joke in there about cheap-@$$ Republicans, but I think I'll just keep that one to myself.
- The night Trista and Ryan got married was the top pizza-ordering night of the year in Washington, DC. Don't any of these people have government jobs??
