Man sentenced in prank turned fatal
During the 15 years I lived in Portland, OR, I can recall being served some nasty beer on occasion. Of course, I don't recall every reacting in quite the manner that our latest DUMB@$$ did when he was served a can of Bearwhiz Beer.
This, of course, reminds me of the First DUMB@$$ Prime Directive: NEVER mix alcohol and DUMB@$$E$, for much hilarity will surely ensue. Allow me to provide some anecdotal evidence:
A 46-year-old man was sentenced in federal court Tuesday to a year in prison for unintentionally killing a friend who served him a beer can filled with urine.
David C. Shippentower pleaded guilty last year to involuntary manslaughter in an incident that started as a prank.
Shippentower punched Leonard D. Strong, 45, at least twice in the head, causing a brain injury that eventually killed Strong.
The two were among a group of people riding in a van and drinking on the Umatilla Indian Reservation on July 29. Shippentower was extremely drunk after drinking about a dozen 24-ounce beers, prosecutors said.
Shippentower asked Strong to hand him another beer, according to witnesses interviewed by the FBI and the Umatilla Tribal Police Department. The can Strong handed Shippentower contained urine. After tasting it, Shippentower punched Strong in the eye and nose....
An autopsy found that Strong died of head injuries. Contributing to the bleeding in his brain was his thin blood, which had a limited ability to clot because of a cirrhotic liver. He had a blood-alcohol level of .34 percent.
Of course, the obvious question would be how Mr. Shippentower could tell any difference at all after 12 24-ounce beers. Jeez, I would be comatose and on the verge of alcohol poisoning. You could give me a can of motor oil, and I doubt I'd be able to tell the difference. Somehow, though, our latest DUMB@$$ still managed to have the wherewithal to not only determine that he wasn't drinking Jagrmeister, but also to dispatch his friend to the Great Pub in the Sky. Impressive....
Let's hope that Shippentower enjoyed his 12-pack. I imagine it's going to be a good long time before he sees another one.
