Some people wonder if their socks match. Some wonder if their eyeshadow matches their blouse. Some might even wonder if their combover is too obvious. Me? I wonder where the next available bathroom is.
I work as a automobile claims adjuster for a major national insurance company. I often spend a good part of my workday driving hither and yon across southeast Texas in a company vehicle. I've been doing this long enough that I can tell you about every decent men's room within a 20-mile radius of my office- and trust me, there aren't a lot of them.
I've discovered that there a legion of people just like myself (my wife, f'rinstance)- beer truck drivers, postal workers, Fedex drivers, route drivers of all flavors- all looking for relief, if you will. During the course of my day, I run across a wide variety of people coming out of men's rooms as I am going in. The difference is that the wild-eyed look of desperation has disappeared from their countenances- at least for the next couple of hours.
I've learned through harsh experience that there is a definite hierarchy of cleanliness and ambience out there. At the bottom of the pyramid are independent gas stations and roadside rest stops- enter at your own risk. Frankly, I've seen Third World latrines that offered less bacterial risk. Sometimes, though, you just have to take what you can get. Desperate is as desperate does, no?
A slight step above independent gas stations are fast food restaurants. McDonald's are the absolute worst- most of them appear to be cleaned at least once a month. Jack-in-the-Boxes are slightly better, but for my money, I'll take a Whataburger. They're not great, but I imagine the risk of infection is substantially less than a roadside rest stop or a McDonald's.
The best options are usually chain restaurants- TGIF, Chili's, Joe's Crab Shack, etc. The rest rooms are clean, comfortable, and pleasant- as rest rooms go. Hey, for someone who spends so much time in search of relief, this is no small thing.
Some of you will probably think that this is a crazy thing to obsess over, and it may well be. I'll challenge you to try spending your days behind the wheel, going from appointment to appointment, sometime covering as much as 200 miles in a day, and tell me that you wouldn't be feeling a bit desperate from time to time.
(Tasteless analogy alert....)
Sometimes, $&%@ really does happen....
